Category Archives: Life and Experiences

Reflection

The word, the love, passion, desire, life,
Awesomeness, beauty, struggle, strife,

Stepping back into the game with no name,
Feelings, emotions, fire, kindling old flame,

The future in a smoke of mist, a familiar sight,
Wandering, tunnel, dusk, dawn, following light,

The right and wrong, intermingled and lost,
Living, thriving, surviving, roots, frost,

The moral compass, destroyed, broken,
Lust, sin, fuck, fake, beast, awoken,

This time it’ll be different, many different visions,
Mind singing, thoughts, grace, honesty, decisions,

The dream for this world, for being good,
Dreams, wishes, vape, drink, friends, hood,

The passion awoken inside, ended depression,
Passions, desires, needs, wants, compassion.

1- Thought Battle

Here we go. Another journey is about to begin. The same excitement, the same rush but still a familiarity of the paths that lay ahead. As I sit here in the waiting area, waiting for the gates to open, the memories of my last trip come rushing through my head. I have often described that experience as a big life changing event. There was a me before that trip and there was another me after it. Who knows what experiences await me this time around. Memories, memories are tricky, we remember what we want to, often we remember things different than the actuality of the events. I wonder if my memories are but a fairy tale, concocted by my mind, to ease the events that followed. Maybe that’s how I want things to be remembered, remember the good and forget the bad. But does it matter? Does it matter if my memories are true or false? Does it really matter?
I don’t think it matters. In this short life, why dwell on the bad. Why not remember things as you would have wanted things to go. Reality is overrated, so why not create your own fairy tale in your head. Why not live in fantasies of your own creation. Why not just remember the good parts.
I think it matter. The bad experiences are lessons taught by life. By forgetting them, you could forget the lesson and make same mistakes. Reality is not overrated, because in fantasies you’re always the winner, always the hero. The White Knight of your own stories, your own creation. Why forget what hurt you.
Contradictions, conflicting thoughts, the battle of ideas, the war between the two sides. Thus is my life and always has been, sometimes naive, living in fantasy, sometimes a realist, trying to make sense of it all. I guess I fall in the middle road because I understand the appeal of both sides. I can’t blame someone or myself for remember the fantastical version of my experiences, but I just can’t forget the reality of the events that shaped my life and the lessons learnt, my trials by fire, which moulded the person I am today.
So here’s to another adventure, another journey, a new experience, to new memories. Cheers!

Maybe I Do, Maybe I Don’t

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
Here is the history of life, the mystery of delight,
Born and raised in a middle class family, born to fight,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
The social ladder is hard to climb up, it is no doubt a struggle,
In a world of opportunities for some, contest of wizard and muggle,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
From the humble beginnings, to highest of the high,
The customs, cultures, family values and norms you defy,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
It is a duel between living and existing or surviving,
The purpose is to achieve the living, before I’m dying,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
My heart is ever yearning,
This world is ever turning,
The desire inside ever burning,
Absent mind, heart is governing,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
The thoughts are wack,
Watching over my back,
Grey in world of white and black,
Decision between striving and slack,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
So what is this fictional story,
What is this imaginative glory,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
Ramblings of an addict, in a battle to lose his cause,
Rambling ever on and on, absent praise or applause,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
Nowhere left to hide,
No rules to abide,
Absent belief, faith on the side,
Leaving it on God to guide,
To my salvation and decide,
To my fate and bride,
To my companion on this ride,
Coming back to humility from pride,
Saving me from the pit, large and wide,
To soar in the air, fly off and glide,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t.

Questions On My Mind

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

If God made Earth for Man, made Adam and Eve, then what’s the purpose of mass extinctions,
Be it 65 million years ago or 200 million years ago, I can’t understand, these facts from fictions,

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

If God sent Messengers and Prophets for every nation, every tribe, every race, all of humanity,
Then how come there are still Aboriginal tribes, living in jungles, away from world and it’s insanity,

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

If there is a direct lineage, from Adam to Noah to Abraham to Moses to Jesus to Muhammad, and it’s 6000 years,
Then howcome there are structures built by Man, from 30 thousand years ago, hunters and their bows and spears,

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

The origins of life in question, non living matter became a living being, what is a soul?
What is the meaning of life, and consciousness? What is Our purpose, what is Our goal?

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

If good and evil exists equally, amongst the religious ones and the ones without it,
Then is the fault in the individual? Not the race, creed, color, religion, but why do we still doubt it?

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

What is good? What is evil? What is it, absent the consequences or context or punishment? What if we don’t get caught?
What is humanity? What is compassion? What is empathy? What if reward is all you sought?

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find,

If fear of punishment, for breaking the law, makes one wear a seat belt, or wear a helmet, can you tell?
Then why do we make fun of, look down upon, mock the ones who proclaim their fear of hell,

Questions, questions on my mind,
Unable to answer, unable to find.

My Mind Singing, a reflection of thoughts on religion and athiesm

Picking and choosing. Often frowned upon. I mean follow any discussion involving athiests and religious folk. For anything a religious person might object to, be unsure about, have an opinion about, disagree with, they’re often given examples from their religious texts about other things and called hypocrites. But I want to ask the question, why? Does any athiest just blindly follow any scientific hypothesis? Does multiverse exist? What is consciousness? Are there 4 dimensions or 5 or 11 or 13? Is big bang the only explanation for start of universe? What about simulation theory? Is everyone who believes in that a fool or a hypocrite? No. Picking and choosing. How is that any different? Why can’t relgious folk pick and choose? Surely I am not defending here the right to inflict pain on others. Surely I know that people used Bible to justify slavery and crusades and Iraq war and what not. But that’s just being human. Ghengis Khan killed million and millions of people and I don’t think he was inspired by any religious text. So why this frowning upon picking and choosing? Anytime a religious person is against gay marriage or gay relationships, they bring out “oh then you shouldn’t easy fish or pork or that according to Bible Earth was created before the sun”. So in return religious people should just bring out “was it big bang? Or was it simulation theory? Or was it multiverse?”. Picking and choosing should not be frowned upon. It should be encouraged. You have full right to pick and choose how to live your life and what to believe in and what makes you feel happy. But and yes there is a big but, you should do that if and only if it doesn’t cause others pain. Often times people who are marching against gay marriages are same ones who’d be marching against immigrants. Sure I might be generalizing in my article as well. And it is wrong. I have met kind religious people and I have met arrogant rude non religious people. Your religion and lack there of dies not necessarily make you a morale authority or a good person. Your actions are what makes you a person. It’s not about your religion, not about your race, not about your beliefs,not about your creed, not about your social stature, it is only about the type of person you are on the inside. I have seen relgious people start holy wars and I have seen secular people start wars for materialistic gains. We’re all the same, regardless of color, creed, belief and race. Picking and choosing is essential to individual freedom and happiness. No, not all Christians have to follow every single in Bible and not every Muslim has to follow every single thing in Quran and not every athiest has to follow every single scientific theory or hypothesis! Humans are complicated and just forcing them all to be part of one or another is not the way! Forcing anyone is not the way! Our world is complicated, we still don’t know how life got created in the first place out of non living matter. In the same way humans are complicated, our minds are complicated, our life stories are individual and complicated, our pursuit of happiness is complicated. So what is the solution? Well I am but just a mortal man and I don’t know. I don’t know how to solve all crisis on Earth, I don’t know how to solve all our problems, I don’t know anything. But what I do know is that everyone should be free to pick and choose from their religious texts and their scientific hypothesis what makes then happy and what makes others around them happier and makes world a better place! Because I believe that in the end, it’s all about happiness and making people around you happy and make world a better place, full of love and harmony and peace.

Uniqueness

Every person is unique, everyone has their own unique life cycle. Sure and offcourse, choice and opportunities, chances and hard work, hustle and talent, they are all factors in a given life cycle. But we shouldn’t compare that, shouldn’t make a competition about individuals lives. Some are billionaires at 15 while for others it takes 40 years to achieve greatness. But what is greatness really in a finite mortal life cycle? 70, 80, 90 years at max in a world that has been around for 4.7 billions years? Really? Does that even matter in the grand scheme of things? Not everyone can or will be a genius, a revolutionary, the best of the best we humans have to offer. Everyone has their unique journey, their unique life cycle, their unique story. So be patient with people who still haven’t found their purpose, their aim in life, their goal. Because neither you nor anyone else has guarantee of life. A billionaire by 15 may die at 18 in a road accident while a so called bumb at 40 might finally find his purpose and live to 80 to spread his greatness. Patience is a virtue, impatience isn’t. So live and let live and let everyone figure out their life journey and experiences and purpose and destiny. This should be the ways of mortal beings with 100 years at Max to live on a 4.7 billion year old planet.

A Moment of Silence

A moment of silence, a moment to reflect,
All the time wasted, all the duties you neglect,

The routine, ever going on and on,
There is no coming back to the time gone,

So wake up and realize and do something about it,
Work, hustle, work and never ever doubt it,

Hard work pays off, it’s a fact, not a fiction,
So kick out of your deviant ways and addiction,

It’s time to rise up and fix the mistakes made,
Time is running by, dear, live life before you just fade,

A pursuit of happiness, a happily ever after,
Live life with love, joy, family, friends and laughter,

A new beginning, a new start,
Pack your bags and depart,

Stay true to your core values, your heart,
Just close your eyes and breath in and throw that dart,

Peace is inside you, God is inside you,
Be bold and confident, be sincere and true,

Greatness is in your grasp, just reach out,
Show the world what you’re made of, what you’re about,

A moment of silence, a moment to reflect,
All the time spent, and the people you affect.

Stairway to Heaven

I fell from the stairway to heaven,

Guilty concious, my sins were seven,


Inspired no more, desired even less,

Hired no more, afraid to confess,


The mask of fakeness, fake laughs, fake smiles,

Journeying through time and space, infinite miles,


The will to rise up, the will of iron broken,

Remembering her eyes, regretting the words spoken,


Remembering her eyes, eyes deeper than Nile,

Her beauty and innocence, her sweet smile,


Her fake smile, her broken promises, her lies,

Her manipulation, her empty words, her fake cries,


She cut my wings, I couldn’t fly,

I sat down to wake up, to get high,


I picked up the pen and started writing,

Put my thoughts in rhymes and started fighting,


Took back control of my life,

Broke free, ended my strife,


Found my way back to the stairway to heaven,

To get to my paradise, my safe Haven.

Hidden From Sight 

There is a crisis, a turmoil going on,

Occupying my mind from dusk till dawn,

So many paths lay ahead, 

Which path should I tread? 

The decisions that create divisions, 

So many views and visions, 

Are compromises worth making? 

Or just carry on living and faking, 

Conflicted in my mind, 

I can’t pretend to be blind, 

What’s my release, my escape? 

I can’t cry over my sour grape, 

The hopes and dreams of people around, 

I was dropped in middle of this battle ground, 

One wrong move and it’ll be chaos about, 

I bow down and plea and cry and shout, 

I am a fighter, a warrior, stout hearted, 

Thinking of the departing and the departed, 

Can I make this right?

The end is hidden from sight!

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend that the fairy tail never ends,
Let’s pretend that the heart mends,
Let’s pretend that the dream is still alive,
Let’s pretend that I am still that naive,
Let’s pretend she is still in my heart,
Let’s pretend we never fell apart,
Let’s pretend that I still believe in love,
Let’s pretend that there is still a God above,
Let’s pretend I still believe her lies,
Let’s pretend the soul never dies,
Let’s pretend I never picked up the drink,
Let’s pretend I never rolled back from the brink,
Let pretend there is a happily ever after,
Let’s pretend there is still joy and laughter,
Let’s pretend, I never picked up that pen,
Let’s pretend I am still hiding in my den,
Let’s pretend life has a meaning,
Let’s pretend it’s not demeaning,
Let’s pretend I never made a mistake,
Lets pretend, let’s just pretend for Gods sake.