Blog Archives

1- Thought Battle

Here we go. Another journey is about to begin. The same excitement, the same rush but still a familiarity of the paths that lay ahead. As I sit here in the waiting area, waiting for the gates to open, the memories of my last trip come rushing through my head. I have often described that experience as a big life changing event. There was a me before that trip and there was another me after it. Who knows what experiences await me this time around. Memories, memories are tricky, we remember what we want to, often we remember things different than the actuality of the events. I wonder if my memories are but a fairy tale, concocted by my mind, to ease the events that followed. Maybe that’s how I want things to be remembered, remember the good and forget the bad. But does it matter? Does it matter if my memories are true or false? Does it really matter?
I don’t think it matters. In this short life, why dwell on the bad. Why not remember things as you would have wanted things to go. Reality is overrated, so why not create your own fairy tale in your head. Why not live in fantasies of your own creation. Why not just remember the good parts.
I think it matter. The bad experiences are lessons taught by life. By forgetting them, you could forget the lesson and make same mistakes. Reality is not overrated, because in fantasies you’re always the winner, always the hero. The White Knight of your own stories, your own creation. Why forget what hurt you.
Contradictions, conflicting thoughts, the battle of ideas, the war between the two sides. Thus is my life and always has been, sometimes naive, living in fantasy, sometimes a realist, trying to make sense of it all. I guess I fall in the middle road because I understand the appeal of both sides. I can’t blame someone or myself for remember the fantastical version of my experiences, but I just can’t forget the reality of the events that shaped my life and the lessons learnt, my trials by fire, which moulded the person I am today.
So here’s to another adventure, another journey, a new experience, to new memories. Cheers!

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A Curse

A mysterious curse,  a series of unfortunate events, 
My complicated life,  divided in different segments,

Is it a curse or a blessing from above that I see,
The world for it is, not what it pretends to be,

Riding on bus,  journeying through time,
If this is my punishment, what is my crime?

I often think about them,  but not everyone believes,
I wonder if there is a common tree, if we are branches or leaves,

I wonder if some will flower in grace, 
I wonder if others will fall without a trace,

I wonder if we will travel to them,
I wonder if we are connected by a stem,

I wonder if we figure it out,
I wonder what’s it all about,

I still think sometimes about her,
But my fading memory of her is just a blur,

Then I think about the miltiverses beyond any count,
The possibilities of realities of infinite amount,

Who am I Oh Who am I?
A voice? A plea? A cry?

A poet, an observer, a messenger,
Journeying through time and space,  a passenger,

A glorious curse, destiny and fate,
Ready for a new adventure, it’s never too late.

You Belong

When lines between right and wrong are blurred

When lies make up half of your world,

When your word doesn’t mean anything,

When your relationships all become a fling,

When flirting becomes the norm,

When you take advantage of your charm,

When you waste your time,

When you don’t have a dime,

When life becomes a struggle,

When you are just another muggle,

When wizardry leaves you,

When everybody believes you,

When say thing which are seldom true,

When the world spins,

When the poor man wins,

When she cries and doesn’t smile,

When the depth in her eyes is deeper then Nile,

When you held her hand, 

When you had to take off the wedding band,

When the memories flash by,

When your thoughts dry,

When you look back at life,

When you think about your struggle and strife,

When you think about your choices,

When you had let go and listened to the voices,

When you think your adventurous journey,

When you are the end of this tourney,

When you wonder about your legacy in life,

When you picked up that knife,

When you slit your wrists,

When blood gushed through closed fists,

When the soul left you,

When you saw the Truth you always knew,

When you saw the Light,

When you marveled at His sight,

When the long wait begun,

When his light encompassed the sun,

When the soul was returned,

When the fire once again burned,

When the records were handed,

When your wondered where you landed,

When the gates were opened,

When after life began to never end,

When you had all you ever wished,

When you went swimming and fished,

When you picked up this pen and started this song,

When you knew, you are exactly where you belong.

LOTRO Players

Let’s go on an adventure tonight,

LOTRO Players in their glory and might,   

  

The Middle-earth is our play ground,

We’re here to win, we won’t turn around,  

  

Andang brought his young lore-master,

Braxwolf shoots his bow faster,  

  

Pineleaf is a little hobbit warden,

Draculetta’s class I don’t remember, pardon!  

  

Ethelros is mighty captain,

Estel-Ali doesn’t join them often,  

  

But he has a kinship to run,

To lead raids and have fun,  

  

But LOTRO Players have fun of their own,

They travel through Middle-earth from dusk till dawn,  

  

They slay the minions of Sauron they meet,

From Forochel’s icy weather to Moria’s heat,  

  

Each week their fellowship grows,

Their number increase, their legend grows,  

  

Let’s go on an adventure tonight,

LOTRO Players are ready for a fight.

Mind Singing: A unique sickness

I am just so sick and tired,
Of being always inspired,  

By all these goals,
Filling these holes,  

In my life and in my heart,
I just want to leave all behind to depart,  

And to go to a new land,
A meadow land, not a shadow land,  

But when will my adventure start,
Sitting here throwing the dart,  

When it never lands in the middle,
Life is not a question but a riddle,  

Whenever I am alone,  my mind races,
It paces,  it faces,  it chases,  

The answers, the dreams,
The agony, the screams,  

My infinite thoughts in an infinite universe,
The universe? No,  it’s a multiverse,  

From the smallest atomic particle to galaxies it goes,
My wandering mind never slows,
Everything is in constant motion it shows,
Expanding towards something or someone, no one knows,  

The questions of life, about life, the histories,
All these interesting, fascinating mysteries,  

Every choice creates a world parallel and new,
Talked by many but understood by few,  

I am a tiny speck of star dust in the grand scheme of things,
But my thoughts are infinite when my minds singing begins.