Blog Archives

Wandering

I am lost, wandering in this web of lies,
Nobody knows me or hears my cries,

My goals are vague, my story tragic,
My dreams are of a world full of magic,

I dug myself in this hole, there’s no escape,
This life is without a structure or shape,

So many paths and so many choices,
Entrenched in this mist, so many voices,

Opportunities squandered and lost,
Deep in debt, I cannot pay this cost,

In this darkness, I cannot see a way out,
Mute in this dungeon, I cannot shout,

My pride will be the end of me,
They can’t help, if they can’t see,

Burried in my woes, punished for the crime,
Smoking my life away, one puff at a time,

My words and rhymes are all I have left,
My eyes filled with tears, alone I wept,

I am lost, wandering in this web of lies,
Nobody cares, nobody even tries.

Advertisements

Breaking Bad

My head is just spinning,
Am I losing or am I winning,
I gave it all I had,

I am so furious and fast,
I don’t want to finish last,
I am breaking bad,

I write what I think,
I live life on the brink,
I am going mad,

All the thoughts in my head,
Celebrating life,  mourning the dead,
Life is happy sometimes,  sometimes it is sad,

Love always brought me pain,
I am drenched wet in the rain,
Loneliness makes me glad,

Alone on my own, a party in my mind,
Flowing towards the future,  not looking behind,
Supporting my family,  helping my dad,

My head continues to  spin,
I have no choice but to win,
I am satisfied with the life I had.

The Last Goodbye

Your eyes, deep, sexy and green,
You were in the last year of teen,

 

Your voice was music to my ear,
You were far, yet always so near,

 

So started this journey of you and me,
A gamble with fates and our destiny,

 

Many differences were overcome, compromises made,
It seemed like our love would just never fade,

 

The long Skype calls, the pleasure of sleepless night,
The joy, the happiness, the kisses, hugs tight,

 

But retrospectively everything looks nice,
There were many troubles in that paradise,

 

A strong heart but many times you broke it,
I believed the lies when you spoke it,

 

The sleepless nights were often spent crying,
When you didn’t reply me, I kept trying,

 

Like a lost puppy I kept coming back,
And the basic human intelligence you lack,

 

You made me feel miserable at times,
Maybe a twisted joke for your father’s crimes,

 

And the times when you would ignore me,
Broke me inside out, not even restore me,

 

Fighting with you, day and night,
Drenched in darkness without a light,

 

I lie in my poems about a fairy tale,
Being with you was torture but I didn’t bail,

 

That time when I called you and you passed the phone to your cousin,
You stood by laughing when he abused me for no reason,

 

And the time when you slept in arms of a friend,
Your betrayals started then and continued till the end,

 

All the money I wasted on the gifts I sent,
You stayed with me until I paid your rent,

 

And then you saw another man with money,
And you pursued him, being sweeter then honey,

 

You forgot four years of thick and thin,
You broken the promises for a temporary win,

 

You forgot the times I did save you,
And all your lies that I forgave you,

 

So here is a last goodbye, you’re gone,
It took me a while, but I finally moved on.

You Belong

When lines between right and wrong are blurred

When lies make up half of your world,

When your word doesn’t mean anything,

When your relationships all become a fling,

When flirting becomes the norm,

When you take advantage of your charm,

When you waste your time,

When you don’t have a dime,

When life becomes a struggle,

When you are just another muggle,

When wizardry leaves you,

When everybody believes you,

When say thing which are seldom true,

When the world spins,

When the poor man wins,

When she cries and doesn’t smile,

When the depth in her eyes is deeper then Nile,

When you held her hand, 

When you had to take off the wedding band,

When the memories flash by,

When your thoughts dry,

When you look back at life,

When you think about your struggle and strife,

When you think about your choices,

When you had let go and listened to the voices,

When you think your adventurous journey,

When you are the end of this tourney,

When you wonder about your legacy in life,

When you picked up that knife,

When you slit your wrists,

When blood gushed through closed fists,

When the soul left you,

When you saw the Truth you always knew,

When you saw the Light,

When you marveled at His sight,

When the long wait begun,

When his light encompassed the sun,

When the soul was returned,

When the fire once again burned,

When the records were handed,

When your wondered where you landed,

When the gates were opened,

When after life began to never end,

When you had all you ever wished,

When you went swimming and fished,

When you picked up this pen and started this song,

When you knew, you are exactly where you belong.

One Love

You understand the point,
As you light up the joint,
As the smoke enters your mind,
You look behind,
As your life flashes by,
You begin to fly, ever so high,
You start your journey, trippy,
You learn to love like a hippy,
Your laughs become loud,
As you are surrounded by a cloud,
You ask the questions that matter,
You see the multiverses and anti-matter,
You mind opens up and grows,
In your veins the blood flows,
Formed of atoms and molecules,
Created billions of years ago as fuels,
In heart of stars exploding,
Escaping the black holes imploding,
Your connection with the universe is old,
A peaceful calm takes a hold,
As you become so bold,
Questioning the facts you were told,
By the ancesters and their beliefs of old,
You go back to the origin,
Of life and of religion,
Like passenger on a time pigeon,
You become universal, forget your region,
You escape these rules, this prison,
You see the big picture, the grand vision,
The secrets of life are revealed to you
The secret of cosmos are unveiled to you,
You become one with the rest of universe,
You see atoms united and elements diverse,
You dive deeper and long to meet Him,
To talk, to question, to please, to greet Him,
The grand Architect, the Designer, the Creator,
Some know Him as Merciful, some as a hater,
The patient observer, the misunderstood,
The ultimte Judge of bad and good,
The Revealer of signs, the Beneficent,
The Evolver, the Magnificent,
You find your glory, your grace,
As you look upon His face,
Your heart begins to race,
Your thoughts pace,
Your mind sings the song,
Of ice and fire, you feel ever so strong,
You lose the desire, to return,
To the mortal world, you learn,
The truth about everything,
From the multiverses to stringthing,
It all makes sense to you,
You dont want to return but you do,
As your high wears off,
Your eyes weep tears of,
Joy and happiness and illumination,
Peace for all, no discrimination,
Your mind sparks in light, your face turns so bright,
‘One love, one heart, lets get toegther and feel alright’

My Zen State

I have lived a long long life,
Full of ups and down and strife, 

There have been many versions of me,
Ali one, Ali two and Ali three, 

I made many friends along the way,
Some of them come and go but others always stay, 

But in my heart I’ve always been a loner,
Love to be by myself, alone, a stoner, 

Because alone I can unleash my restless mind and swim,
To search the heavens and the Earth, to find Him, 

When the cusriosity grows,
And the creativity flows, 

When the mind begins to sing,
Let it fly and attach no string, 

All the moments of life,
I think and I think back,
The good, the bad,
The white, the black, 

But this life is shades of grey,
Hunter sometimes, sometimes prey,
Sometimes sad, sometimes gay,
Sometimes deny Him, sometimes pray, 

This is not crisis of identity,
This cursed blessing is my penalty,
Its self inflicted, not from the Immortal Entity
This is, by design, my design, my eternity 

My choices mingled with my fate,
Chose to love and forgot the hate,
This is me, this is my zen state,
This wonderful life, feels so great,

mY cHOICES

Sometimes life becomes so messed up and complicated. You start doubting your goals, your aims, your beliefs. You get side tracked, for better or for worst. If pursuit of happiness is the purpose of life, then why cant we just do what we want to and not worry about anything else? Not worry about providing for family and loved ones. Would it be selfish? But is selfish bad? Can you just do what your heart desires, what your mind seeks, what your souls yearns for? Not worrying about people who brought you up, raised you, provided for you, gave you everything you have since birth? Then I guess purpose of life is not all about your pursuit of happiness. Its about finding that middle ground, having some happiness in paying your debts, debts which last a life time, pursuing your new goals, aims and also providing for loved ones and family. Atleast thats what I think. Or thats what I have come to think by pondering on this question. You cannot ignore your debts and you cannot ignore the people you are indebted to. Sometimes I want to just pursue my goals, my aims, my freedom from all bounds and chains, but I cannot and I must not. Atleast not at the moment. There are people who look at me for support and I have to play that role, I have to live this life for them as well as for me. And there is no doubt in the happiness you receive when you help others, when you serve your parents, when you guide your brothers and sisters, when you try to fulfill their dreams about you. This happiness is different from the one you will have when you fullfil your own dreams, your own goals and aims. But we all have to live with the life we are born in. Many ignore responsibilities and escape to find their freedom but I do not agree with that. But its just my difference of opinion, the choice is entirely yours, whichever school of thought you subscribe to. My culture might have something to do with it but I dont believe its the only factor in my views and beliefs. I think of myself as a human being of planet Earth with my own beliefs. My beliefs are what make me, me. Although my heart desires freedom, my mind seeks it, my soul yearns for it, to leave all behind and go somewhere away from everyone else, secluded, merge with nature, to grow food to eat, to smoke, to let my mind travel through all the dimensions and verses and to put my thoughts, ideas and views on paper and find eternal happiness. BUT I will first pay my debts, serve my parents and provide for my loved ones and find the happiness in their happiness and pride.

This is my choice. You make your own…

 

Words

Words. Their power is undeniable. The impact that they can have on our lives,  our decisions, our relationships,  our day to day encounters is unmistakable. They make or break relationships,  especially the fragile ones. Relationships are fragile,  even the ones we think will never end and are Eternal and will go on forever. Words have the power to destroy and to create. But creating is difficult. You can spend all your life building a relationship and with some words it can end. The whole journey comes to a stop. It ends. You can try to take back your words,  rethink them, apologize, but what’s broken is broken, it can never be fully mended,  it will always carry the scars, the cracks. No matter how much you try to mend them,  the hurt of words is a grave wound. Sometimes you can’t go back no matter how much you wish you could. People often think that the only fragile relationships are the one between a guy and a girl, a couple, boy friend and girl friend. But those are not the only kind of fragile relationships. Sometimes even the immortal friendships you have with your friends of lifetimes can end with the sword of words. And even the eternal relationships like your parents can become complicated by the mortal web of words. And you are stuck in present,  this venomous poisonous weaving web, you can’t go back. Relationships become diluted, feelings hurt and egos win. You are never the same again. Becoming estranged with people who have spent your life with is not a feeling you wish even on your enemy. But there is a reason behind everything,  the words uttered are not always meaningless. Sometimes they are needed,  sometimes you need to speak for yourself,  to defend yourself from attacks,  attacks on your character, your personality,  on you as a human being. When you are accused, judged, made fun of,  insulted, mocked, laughed at.
Is it not right to express your anger? So what would one do in such situation? Just accept the consequences and move on, stop caring, accept estrangement, shed a tear alone, live with it? Or you keep trying to mend it,  to save it, to apologize,  to talk and to resolve?
I don’t know the answer but the choice is yours.

Find Her Gone

Been thinking so much and doing so little,
I am happy with life and not being bitter,  

The challenges that come, I face them head on,
People who leave, just do not belong,  

But life is so short, you can do no wrong,
Don’t live with regrets, just smile and move on,  

All the experiences, the flirts,
the choices, the voices, the hurts,
You can pick up the pen and make a song,  

Then you sing it for you, for her,  for them,
And fill the night sky with every gem,
To live and love and show them you’re strong,  

She smiles and takes your breath away,
You think of her in night and day,
Only to wake and find her gone.