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I see you now

I see now, I see you, I see now,
When you’re gone, I dream now,

When I was happy and the world was bright,
When you were in my arms, hearts delight,

Oh my lord what happened, you left,
My heart was stolen, it was a theft,

Who can save me now, I wonder,
Will I go on and repeat this blunder,

It is hard to smile now, it is so hard,
Give me some stregth, be my guard,

Oh lord of mine, where are you,
I look up in pain, at that sky blue,

When I am sad, alone and I cry,
A part of me just wants to die,

But when I think of you, and the world about,
I forget my meaningless life, and my doubt,

You are great, greatest of all,
You will save me , when I fall,

Oh my lord, oh my lord, oh my lord,
I will spread your word, absent sword,

I sing songs of happiness, songs of joy,
When you wipe my tears, wipe them dry,

I’ve seen you now, I’ve seen, I’ve seen you now,
When you were gone, I still continue to dream now.

My Story

You may think you do, but you dont,
Know me, who I am and who I’m not,

Person you know is but an illusion,
Dont pretend to escape this dillusion,

This is my creation, my design,
An enigma you cannot define,

But don’t you dare think that I am lost and living a lie,
You will never understand me no matter how hard you try,

But this is how it’s supposed to be,
Trust me you do not want to know me,

You won’t be able to handle this reality,
I am eminence and this my cult of personality,

I am just not your typical good guy,
There is more to me then getting high,

But I don’t care to  explain myself to you,
Your perception of me is not true,

You are free to believe what you want,
Happy sometimes,  life is sometimes gaunt,

I stand in front of you in living colors,
Honest to the core, clearing blurs,

It’s not your place to judge me,
You do not know anything about me,

You do not know what I have been through,
You dont really want to know the truth, do you?

There was once a happy guy,
a nice guy, hence not a crappy guy,
who fell in love with a beautiful girl,
a dutyful girl, her hair in curl,
Her smile made him smile,
Her unique style, eyes deeper then nile,
They kissed eachother, missed eachother, 
Day and night, gay and bright,
In eachothers sight, their lives changed,
Feelings of love, blessings from above, 
They planned their future life,
As husband and wife,
The summer of joy,
They became the reason of life,
In season of joy,
A younger girl, an older boy,
Deeper then deepest oceans, taller then the tallest mountain,
The immortal love reigns,  
Spreading joy and no pain, 
They went to mountains tall and wide, 
No one to see them, no rules to abide, 
With god of love on their side,
They accepted their fate,  
Became eachothers mate,
They married eachother,
Through thick and thin, carried eachother,
He built a small house for her, a spouse to her
He wrote about her, thought about her, 
She inspired him, desired him, 
Admired him, they grew together,
But then changed the weather,
The winds of winter came,
Extinguished their flame,
Killed passion, 
Killed compassion,
Killed their desire,
To hold on, killed the fire,

She betrayed him with no mercy,
Wounded him for world to see,

His trust broke, a hurt bloke,
From the dream he woke,

Into reality and it’s brutality,
The fairy tale came to its finality,

His dreams shattered, his heart battered,
He was fool to think he mattered,

A cursed soul wandering about,
Drenched in so much pain and doubt,

He slept around and started drinking,
Did terrible things without thinking,

His life began spiraling down,
In hurtsville and disaster town,

Then something happened, he took control,
Right back from the edge,  he began to roll,

The experience forever changed him,
Absent love, a reaping grim,

A spec of former self, a shade,
Refusing to give up and fade.

So now you know my story,
Reality of life with no glory.

Find Her Gone

Been thinking so much and doing so little,
I am happy with life and not being bitter,  

The challenges that come, I face them head on,
People who leave, just do not belong,  

But life is so short, you can do no wrong,
Don’t live with regrets, just smile and move on,  

All the experiences, the flirts,
the choices, the voices, the hurts,
You can pick up the pen and make a song,  

Then you sing it for you, for her,  for them,
And fill the night sky with every gem,
To live and love and show them you’re strong,  

She smiles and takes your breath away,
You think of her in night and day,
Only to wake and find her gone.

Dreamy Night

When his eyes opened,  he found himself in a dark forest naked. Everything was still and motionless,  closing his eyes,  he tried to remember how he got there but he had no memories to look back into.  His mind a blank slate.  The pitch black forest made it hard for him to see, he got up and slowly started to move,  not having any sense of direction he went with his instincts. The earth was damp under his paws,  far away he could see a source of light.  He was hungry,  he knew he needed to feed. He smelled something familiar,  something he recognized,  but couldn’t remember.  As he approached the source of the light,  he saw the headlights of a car and a man changing the tyres. The light of the full moon made his eyes  grow wide as he got out of the dense forest. The old man didn’t seem to notice him as he slowly came closer,  I moving carefully,  he had been here before he remembered,  he knew how to do it,  he knew what he had to do. This mad hunger took control of him as he approached the man,  he opened his jaws wide, and ‘SNAP’…
He woke suddenly in bed,  scared. He turned the lights on to make sure that he is in his home,  safe.  He hadn’t told anybody of these weird dreams he had been having ever since that one college party in the woods. People would judge him he had told himself. And they are just dreams anyway he thought. He got out of his bed and went to the kitchen,  the lights turned on as he entered it. As he pulled a chair to sit, his fridge lit up and greeted him.
“would you like a drink,  sit? “,  it asked.
“yeah,  actually I am quite thirsty”
“would like to try O negative tonight,  sir?”
“yes, I don’t think I have ever tried that one before”,  he answered.
The front lid opened to reveal a glass filled with chilled red liquid,  he grabbed it and thanked the fridge.  He put a straw in the glass and sucked, as the blood entered his mouth,  it sent a shiver throughout his body. ‘AHHHH..HUH NOO’
He got back in his feet, with laughter and mocking of his class fellows,  his clothes all muddy.  This was the third day in a row they had put a curse on him and made him do stuff against his will. But he was too scared to fight and stand up for himself or to tell his professors or anyone else. But this needed to stop.  Every time he ended up in the same place with mud on his clothes and same weird dream. He had no friend to talk to or share it with. There was a girl he liked, but he was just too shy to even talk to her and he also had no reason to believe that a girl like Lucy will ever be interested in anyone like him.  Girls like confident strong guys he had heard and he was anything but confident or strong.  He want bad on studies and he did fairly well in practical magic too. But something was missing. He didn’t know what. School yule ball was approaching and his mom had sent him a very nice dancing robe. Thus was his chance to make a move,  to ask out Lucy. He gathered whatever courage he had in him and went to ask her after their potions class. He was waiting for her to finish talking with her friends.
“I will see you guys in maths later”,  she told them and started walking towards her dorm. He ran a but to catch up with her.
“hi Lucy, I was wondering if you would be interested in going to the yule dance with me if you already don’t have a partner?”
“oh! Hi! You are?”
“oh I am so sorry,  I am Henry, we have potions and history together” you idiot,  you blew your chance for sure he thought.
“hi Henry! I actually do not have a date for yule,  so I would love to go with you”
What!? He couldn’t believe what he heard,  but he was grateful he didn’t say what he thought,  he said instead,”see you at 8pm tonight”
“alright see you later,  Henry”, she waved him bye.
He stood there trying to absorb and take it all in, he was going to the yule ball with Lucy. Oh my gods!
The next few hours flew by quick and it was 8, he had dressed in his dancing robes ready to go see the girl he had dreamed about ever since year 1 of school. As he was walking towards the main hall,  he could see Lucy waiting him at the door from far,  all he wanted to do was run to her,  but he must be patient, smiling he continued walking but his sight was cut by them. They had come again to humiliate him. He knew what was coming, he would once again end up being a laughing stock of everyone,  face down in mud.  Not this time. He felt different,  he felt something he never felt before.  Not this time he said in his mind. “not today!”, he yelled aloud to them. They made a move,  but he was ready,  he disarmed two of them but the third one got to him and knocked him to the ground,  his wand sliding his hands,  he looked at them with horror on his face,  from far he could still see Lucy waiting him, but she didn’t see him, they all surrounded him,  all three of them pointing their wands at him. “how dare you,  you pathetic little mud blood filth!”, spat one of them. ‘AVADA…. CRASH…’
He woke as he fell to the floor. “ouch”, again the same dream, There is no such as magic! he exclaimed in his head and got up to open his window. The sun was coming out and there was already traffic in the air with school busses flying the young ones to their education centres.  While the more privileged ones were being carried by their parent in a jetsuit. He folded his bed to the wall and pulled out the toilet while putting on his glasses for morning news. After being washed he took his breakfast pill and flew to work in his car.

The Lucky People

The temper tantrums, the misunderstandings, the fights,

Then making up, kissing, caring, lovers delights,

 

So a new journey is starting again,

As heart recovers from the pasisng pain,

Of lost love, broken heart, stressed brain,

Life brought you once more to lovers lane,

 

The sounds of birds is a music to your ear,

But at the back of your mind the same old fear,

Will she be always far, never too near?

Lonely desires, sad heart, the fallen tear,

 

But then your phone vibrates with her messages,

Your expressions change reading those loving passages,

 

Love is immortal, eternal, gift from god I believe,

Lucky are the ones who give it and recieve.

Enlightened

Cursed is the heart, hurt, broken and dark,

burnt, destroyed, played, still carries the spark;

 

Storms of destruction, change, are weighing again,

the liars, the heart breakers, are playing again;

 

Its a game of love, you win or you die,

a fool to pursue,a fool to never try;

 

Trust in this world of deception and illusions,

perfect lives, beautiful wives, mere delusions;

 

So now wake you up, enlightened, open your eyes,

to broken trust, promises, and not so good byes;

 

She is gone, left you, but you are still here,

forget her, forgive her, move on I dare.