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My Story

You may think you do, but you dont,
Know me, who I am and who I’m not,

Person you know is but an illusion,
Dont pretend to escape this dillusion,

This is my creation, my design,
An enigma you cannot define,

But don’t you dare think that I am lost and living a lie,
You will never understand me no matter how hard you try,

But this is how it’s supposed to be,
Trust me you do not want to know me,

You won’t be able to handle this reality,
I am eminence and this my cult of personality,

I am just not your typical good guy,
There is more to me then getting high,

But I don’t care to  explain myself to you,
Your perception of me is not true,

You are free to believe what you want,
Happy sometimes,  life is sometimes gaunt,

I stand in front of you in living colors,
Honest to the core, clearing blurs,

It’s not your place to judge me,
You do not know anything about me,

You do not know what I have been through,
You dont really want to know the truth, do you?

There was once a happy guy,
a nice guy, hence not a crappy guy,
who fell in love with a beautiful girl,
a dutyful girl, her hair in curl,
Her smile made him smile,
Her unique style, eyes deeper then nile,
They kissed eachother, missed eachother, 
Day and night, gay and bright,
In eachothers sight, their lives changed,
Feelings of love, blessings from above, 
They planned their future life,
As husband and wife,
The summer of joy,
They became the reason of life,
In season of joy,
A younger girl, an older boy,
Deeper then deepest oceans, taller then the tallest mountain,
The immortal love reigns,  
Spreading joy and no pain, 
They went to mountains tall and wide, 
No one to see them, no rules to abide, 
With god of love on their side,
They accepted their fate,  
Became eachothers mate,
They married eachother,
Through thick and thin, carried eachother,
He built a small house for her, a spouse to her
He wrote about her, thought about her, 
She inspired him, desired him, 
Admired him, they grew together,
But then changed the weather,
The winds of winter came,
Extinguished their flame,
Killed passion, 
Killed compassion,
Killed their desire,
To hold on, killed the fire,

She betrayed him with no mercy,
Wounded him for world to see,

His trust broke, a hurt bloke,
From the dream he woke,

Into reality and it’s brutality,
The fairy tale came to its finality,

His dreams shattered, his heart battered,
He was fool to think he mattered,

A cursed soul wandering about,
Drenched in so much pain and doubt,

He slept around and started drinking,
Did terrible things without thinking,

His life began spiraling down,
In hurtsville and disaster town,

Then something happened, he took control,
Right back from the edge,  he began to roll,

The experience forever changed him,
Absent love, a reaping grim,

A spec of former self, a shade,
Refusing to give up and fade.

So now you know my story,
Reality of life with no glory.

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He Lived

It was a cold starry night and he just got back to Amsterdam in train. Today he went to meet his friend in another city. He had met him through internet before but today was the first time they ever met. John took him to his home and they had second breakfast together. Then they went for cycling around the beautiful green woods and played Tolkien trivia. It was a beautiful sunny day but the clouds had started gathering.

He got off the train at central station and went to the tram stop. It was cold but he felt so much full of energy and full of confidence. He looked to his left and saw a beautiful girl also waiting for her bus. Gathering up his courage, he approached her and asked her ,”How are you doing?” The girl smiled and said,”I am fine thank you, How are you?” “Fine too”, he replied. “I came from Italy for a week”, he told her.

“Oh that’s really great. Are you enjoying it so far?”

“Yes it has been really great. There is some big party tonight that I was invited to. Do you want to come?”

“Oh I don’t really go to parties that much but thanks”, she backed away a bit.

You idiot, what was the hurry. You blew your chance. “Oh no problem. So what do..”, he started but was cut off because she had started talking to couple of guys who were standing to her right.

Feeling mixed emotions he put a smile to his face and nodded a good bye to her as she took her bus with the other two guys.  What a bitch..Nah! What an idiot who doesn’t know how to ask out a girl.

He took his tram back to his hotel. Alex and Cameron were waiting for him when he reached his room.

“Let me just change my clothes and then I am ready to go”, he told them before they could complain about him being late.

John’s mother made a traditional Holland dish for him. Mashed potatoes with sausages and vegetables. He really liked it and complimented her on her cooking. John’s room was a mess, a mess full of books. They both were huge Tolkien nerds. He convinced John to install LOTRO and he did, they made a character for him, a temporary character obviously, till John could come up with a unique elvish name. After playing some LOTRO, they took his dog out for a walk, they walked on old mounds and also tried to find the bunnies, but they never found any.

Which shirt to wear. Ah this one. Holding up his black Stone Cold t-shirt. He quickly changed into it. They decided to walk to the club. It was crowded when they arrived there. The music was loud. They got the drinks. He had never been to a club before, nor had he ever danced before. But his metamorphosis had started.He liked the sound of music, the beat, the shaking of butt, the dancing. He knew no moves but he was athletic enough to copy others. He saw a group of girls dancing and he started copying them, Soon enough they noticed him and asked him to join them.

ooo Yeah! He did.

He told them about himself and his week vacation. They were all very friendly and inviting. One girl especially got his attention. She had a certain mean girl look to her, which he loved so much in girls, and she was a blond.

“So are you single”, the words escaped his mouth before he could stop them. What the fuck is wrong with you!!

But to his surprise she did not mind the question, probably because she was drunk or maybe its a blond thing. Whatever it was, they started talking and dancing together. Music does bring people together. After sometime it became difficult for him to breath. Lets say it was because of the heat and loud music.

“I will be right back, need to smoke”, he lied. He fought his way across the jam packed dance floor and into the smoking/pool room. He got his breath back.

There is just something about Indians and Pakistanis, that no matter how you are dressed or what your hair style is, you just instantly recognize each other. So when this two Indian guys entered the room with beers in their hands, he spotted them at once and they spotted him at once. The language they spoke is called Punjabi, which I will not write here. In the common tongue this is what they said..

“Hey dude! Pakistani or Indian?”, the more stylish looking guy asked.

“Pakistani here and you guys must be from India..I came here for a week from Italy”

“Yes brother we are Indians. Welcome. Enjoying the party buddy?”

“Yeah bro its really great. Do you guys smoke?”

“Yeah, you have some?”

“Yeah, I bought it yesterday”. He took out his smoking pipe and filled it and lit it. You were allowed to smoke anything in the pool area. I took a long shot and passed it to his new friends. They took the hits. The magic pipe at once started its magic and in just 5 minutes they were all playing pool together and laughing and dancing. Talking about life and its mysteries and how their pool table was like the solar system and the balls were like planets and what would happen if we got hit by an asteroid right now. It was a merry moment.

Oh damn!! the girl!? “I should go now, it was really nice meeting you guys, peace brothers!” He rushed back into the dance room before they said their good byes. He fought his way across the dance floor back to where he was before, but the beautiful blond fairy princess was gone, and two dudes were sitting where she was. He gave himself a hard-ish slap on his head and sat down. Soon Alex and Cameron also joined him.

“Where were you, we were looking for you everywhere”, Alex said.

“Yeah just dancing and meeting people”, he said, forcing a smile on his face.

They stayed there some more and danced together before leaving for their hotel.

They finally found two empty seats. John sat in front of him. They played “speaking elvish” on his way back to Amsterdam. John had to get off because it was late and he had to return to his home taking the last train. An old guy replaced him on his seat. On his right, 3 girls were sitting. They started talking in loud voices and somehow they started talking to him.

“You look really cute, you wanna go grab a drink when we reach Amsterdam?”, one of them said.

He had a puzzled look on his face and didn’t know what to make of this invitation. But before he could say anything, the older guy sitting in front of him spoke,

“Leave this poor guy alone you three, if you want drink, go have them yourself, you hooligans”

“Thank you for that”, he told the man.”I am Ali, I came here from Italy for a week”, he gave him his hand.

“I am Thijs Berg, I direct movies”, he said, shaking his hand. They talked about what movies he made. He told him that he often comes to Italy, while the hooligans were still talking in loud voices but they ignored them. They got off at Amsterdam Centraal.”Well it was nice talking to you Mr. Thijs Berg. Good Bye”, he waved. “Likewise. Good Bye”, he walked to his taxi and he walked to his tram stop.

They reached their hotel, all exhausted and tired. He waved them bye to their room before going to his own. It was a good day today. For the first time in his life he lived. He changed into pajamas and went to bed dreaming about the beautiful blond fairy princess angel.