Blog Archives

Uniqueness

Every person is unique, everyone has their own unique life cycle. Sure and offcourse, choice and opportunities, chances and hard work, hustle and talent, they are all factors in a given life cycle. But we shouldn’t compare that, shouldn’t make a competition about individuals lives. Some are billionaires at 15 while for others it takes 40 years to achieve greatness. But what is greatness really in a finite mortal life cycle? 70, 80, 90 years at max in a world that has been around for 4.7 billions years? Really? Does that even matter in the grand scheme of things? Not everyone can or will be a genius, a revolutionary, the best of the best we humans have to offer. Everyone has their unique journey, their unique life cycle, their unique story. So be patient with people who still haven’t found their purpose, their aim in life, their goal. Because neither you nor anyone else has guarantee of life. A billionaire by 15 may die at 18 in a road accident while a so called bumb at 40 might finally find his purpose and live to 80 to spread his greatness. Patience is a virtue, impatience isn’t. So live and let live and let everyone figure out their life journey and experiences and purpose and destiny. This should be the ways of mortal beings with 100 years at Max to live on a 4.7 billion year old planet.

Ascension

When the future is fogged in mist and the bridge is burnt, who do you turn to for help, who will be your savior now? You wander about mindlessly and lost, abandoned by everyone. You doubt your decisions, your choices, everything that brought you here, here at the end of world. You see the your life flash in front of your eyes, the memories, ah the memories. You pretend to have no regret but its a fasad, a defence mecchanism, a lie. You regret alot. When you look into your past you dont see yourself, atleast not the person you are now, you see some other guy, someone who is in peace and happy, whose mind isnt always racing, asking, pondering, questioning, going against the norms, no, no, you see a guy who followed his customs, his traditions, his social obligations, his religion, an activist, who used to make speeches in halls about patriotism and in mosque about purpose of life. It all seems a distant memory now. You are not what you used to be, you changed. In the beginning it was just for fun, you would start rhyming words and making poems from them, silly lines which made little to no sense, but you liked playing with words. The words made you feel special. But the words started coming to you more often, the rhymes started to make sense, you started seeing the pattern in nature, you started thinking, you started pondering, you began your search for Truth. Poems started having deeper meaning, you started questioning everything, your society, your culture, your religion. Your mind began the singing, simpler things got complicated, your goals in life got mixed up, you got messed up. Life became one big poem, you became an observer, you started playing this game, you started playing with people. You liked it, it made you feel powerful, made you different, unique in some way and you liked the feeling. You kept diving deeper and deeper in this ocean of emotions and you liked it. You wrote about it, some for other people but mostly for yourself. You started worrying about your legacy, your place in the grand scheme of things, your value to the universe. You wanted to leave something behind for people when you are gone. You started thinking of death alot. It excited you. But you couldnt just trust nature for your death, it had to be you. It would be more poetic, you thought. You finished your novels, and you connected your short stories. Connecting them became an obsession. It all had to be connected you told yourself. It all came from your mind and your mind was the connection between them. And now the canvas is complete. your work here is done. It is time, you told yourself. It is time to ascend out of this physical body with all the regrets, the bad choices, and decisions and the good memories. You put the pill in your mouth and swallowed it with a sip of water and your first chapter came to an end……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

mY cHOICES

Sometimes life becomes so messed up and complicated. You start doubting your goals, your aims, your beliefs. You get side tracked, for better or for worst. If pursuit of happiness is the purpose of life, then why cant we just do what we want to and not worry about anything else? Not worry about providing for family and loved ones. Would it be selfish? But is selfish bad? Can you just do what your heart desires, what your mind seeks, what your souls yearns for? Not worrying about people who brought you up, raised you, provided for you, gave you everything you have since birth? Then I guess purpose of life is not all about your pursuit of happiness. Its about finding that middle ground, having some happiness in paying your debts, debts which last a life time, pursuing your new goals, aims and also providing for loved ones and family. Atleast thats what I think. Or thats what I have come to think by pondering on this question. You cannot ignore your debts and you cannot ignore the people you are indebted to. Sometimes I want to just pursue my goals, my aims, my freedom from all bounds and chains, but I cannot and I must not. Atleast not at the moment. There are people who look at me for support and I have to play that role, I have to live this life for them as well as for me. And there is no doubt in the happiness you receive when you help others, when you serve your parents, when you guide your brothers and sisters, when you try to fulfill their dreams about you. This happiness is different from the one you will have when you fullfil your own dreams, your own goals and aims. But we all have to live with the life we are born in. Many ignore responsibilities and escape to find their freedom but I do not agree with that. But its just my difference of opinion, the choice is entirely yours, whichever school of thought you subscribe to. My culture might have something to do with it but I dont believe its the only factor in my views and beliefs. I think of myself as a human being of planet Earth with my own beliefs. My beliefs are what make me, me. Although my heart desires freedom, my mind seeks it, my soul yearns for it, to leave all behind and go somewhere away from everyone else, secluded, merge with nature, to grow food to eat, to smoke, to let my mind travel through all the dimensions and verses and to put my thoughts, ideas and views on paper and find eternal happiness. BUT I will first pay my debts, serve my parents and provide for my loved ones and find the happiness in their happiness and pride.

This is my choice. You make your own…