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A Seeker

If you’re reading this it means I might be dead, 

Was I out or laying in my bed, 

Life flashing in front of my eyes, 

All the things unsaid, 

Did I die of natural causes, 

Or killed by a fed, 

Soul is leaving my body, 

A glooming dread, 

Taking my time, 

To think about my crime, 

The past caught up to me, 

So I am looking ahead, 

All the mysteries revealed, 

I surrender and yield, 

Should I be feeling regret instead, 

But there is no remorse in me, 

Broken shackles, now I am free, 

To be, to see, to flee, 

To blink, to think, of thee, 

Marvel at her sight, 

So ravishing, her majesty, 

These songs I sing, 

Often of love, 

Sometimes of theory of string, 

This universe in the multiverse, 

Mind singing, captured in verse, 

The dimensions are thirteen, 

The ever learning observer so keen, 

The possibilities are infinite, 

Expanding every second in every minute, 

Surrounded by darkness of space, 

Don’t be shy, do not hide your face, 

But there is also light, 

Nebulas and Quasars and Polaris in sight, 

Spinning at a magical pace,

The mega clusters of galaxies in a race, 

Sucked into black holes, and spit out of white holes, 

Meeting some aliens and asked them their life goals,

No languages needed,

Threats from extra terrestrial unheeded,

Communicating through our minds,

When one seeks something, he always finds,

So I am an observer, a seeker,

A wanderer, a secret keeper,

A dying man, on pale blue dot,

Or a memory, in someone’s thought. 

Cycle of death and birth

Oh you of weak mind,
Forever in pursuit,
Unable to find,

Running after lust,
Nothing to hold on,
Lost in a pile of dust,

No reason or rhyme,
Mindless living existence,
Guilty, absent crime,

Nightmare or a tragic tale,
No Princess or evil Queen,
Drinking tears from holy grail,

Think and think I must,
This mindful mind singing,
Mysterious children of stardust,

They explore, invent and make,
Innovate and improve upon,
Some are giving, while others take,

Their humanity and compassion,
Their small acts of kindness,
Falling in love and passion,

This beautiful life and earth,
Our small pale blue dot,
This cycle of death and birth,

Oh you curious of mind,
Never stop the pursuit,
What you seek, may you find.

Sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Would be or what should be,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the choices,
Secret vices and the voices,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I lose myself in the music,
electronic and acoustic,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I stare at the canopy of the sky,
Beautiful sober, marvelous high,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Deep as Nile or like a moon rise,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Her imminent betrayal, her lustful lies,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about ending it,
Faking it and pretending it,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I want to grow wings and fly,
Courage to defy gravity and deny,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the infinite earth,
Rewind life back from death to birth,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Times are difficult and hard,
Lethally wounded and scared,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Close your eyes and feel,
Someone to tend you and heal,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone might try to become the one,
Bringing some joy in life and some fun,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
You let your guard down,
Joker dressed up as a clown,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Twisted emotions just take a hold,
Going off script, not doing what you’re told,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is a fairy tale,
Sitting with a pint of ale,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is not a fairy tale,
You may fall and often fail,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone could use a hand,
Needing your help to stand,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Do good without a reward,
Pen is mightier then the sword,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Stop and sit and ponder and think,
Close eyes and open them to blink,
As I lay some truth down in these verses,
Infinite creations in infinite multiverses,
Yet here you are a conscious being,
All observing, all seeing,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Who I would be? who I should be?

Entangled

Entangled in an endless web of lies, you and me,
Entangled in same motions of cursed lives,  you and me,  

Only memories are left, of that love which was true,
Only memories are left, of me and of you,   

This story of us, deprived of a happy ending,
This story of us, of me and you pretending,  

But the fact of life is everything changes,  people leave,
But the fact of life is harsh and grim, I believe,  

I believed in a fairy tale, a happily ever after,
I believed in happiness and your laughter,  

 
How was I supposed to know the truth from lies,
How was I supposed to react, if not with tears and cries, 

 
But they say everything happens for the best,
But they say hardships are nothing but a test,  

 
This fear of falling in love again,
This fear of rejection and memory of pain,  

But you made me who I am today,
But you made me a soul grim and fey,  

 
I think that I will always love you from afar,
I think that I am a planet and you’re my star,  

You may think that I am stuck in the past,
You may think that my life is ending fast,  

Many questions,  answers hidden,
Many questions,  still forbidden,  

This mind singing,  ever so strong,
This mind singing,  seeking where I belong, 

But the road goes ever on and on,
But the road goes from dusk till dawn,  

 
Everyday a new dawn,  a new adventure,
Everyday a new journey to venture,  

 
The endlessness of infinite trots,
The endlessness of infinite thoughts,  

 
My place is small in these poems, these rhymes, these verses,
My place is small in these quasars, these pulsars, these multiverses.

A Monster

The nights are haunted by the nightmares of lost love,
Her face still fresh in your mind when you close your eyes,
Turned to curse what once was blessing from ‘above’,
The memories forever yours and pain never dies,

 

Through thick and thin, sickness and health,
Foolish expectations of a lover’s heart,
In reality of world, honesty and goodness aren’t wealth,
In reality of world, money drives people apart,

 

But everyone can play the blame game,
The fault wasn’t always in our stars,
Once you used to smile and chant her name,
Now you lay down counting the stars,

 

Taking a puff of herb, forgetting your worries,
Trying in find yourself in blown smoke,
Rembering the time of appologies and sorries,
Trying to understand the emotions that awoke,

 

This demon that woke inside of me,
This ghost of painful past, of you,
This monster who took hold of me,
What would become of me and you?

 

Am I the only one affected,
Or do you suffer the same?
Do you also feel neglected?
I am tired of playing this game,

 

I wish that I would forget,
All the good and bad,
I wish that I felt no regret,
The happy ending we could have had,

 

Your experiences made who you are,
But they say everything happens for a reason,
So sing the song and play the guitar,
Lose yourself in the music of changing season,

 

But time to get it together,
Forget past and look to the future,
Life cannot be lived by if and whether,
Are you ready for a new adventure?

Poems

Eenie, meanie, minie, mo,
Guess who’s back with a brand new poem, bro!   

And I dont mean poem as in words put in rhymes,
It has to have a meaning, a context, these are different times,

You get a thought in your head,
The deeper meaning of words said,

You think about the power of words in the message you send,
Sometimes following the rules, sometimes starting a new trend,

A poem is the singing of your mind,
Reflections on your current life and of what you left behind,

Its a timeless wonder, open to interpretation, an immortal being,
About your life, past, present and future, what your mind is seeing,

There is no limit on it, no one to hold you back,
The saints are extinct, there is no white and black,

The best poems are about existance, the human feeling,
What love and life gives, what loss and death are stealing,

Sometimes you write for others but sometimes it’s just for you,
Sometimes about the breakups and for the love which was true,

Sometimes about politics and issues of life,
Sometimes about happy endings and a loving wife,

Sometimes about desires and dreams,
Sometimes about the hurt and screams,

But the truth is that writing is your savior and grace,
It gets you through the hardships that you face.

My Story

You may think you do, but you dont,
Know me, who I am and who I’m not,

Person you know is but an illusion,
Dont pretend to escape this dillusion,

This is my creation, my design,
An enigma you cannot define,

But don’t you dare think that I am lost and living a lie,
You will never understand me no matter how hard you try,

But this is how it’s supposed to be,
Trust me you do not want to know me,

You won’t be able to handle this reality,
I am eminence and this my cult of personality,

I am just not your typical good guy,
There is more to me then getting high,

But I don’t care to  explain myself to you,
Your perception of me is not true,

You are free to believe what you want,
Happy sometimes,  life is sometimes gaunt,

I stand in front of you in living colors,
Honest to the core, clearing blurs,

It’s not your place to judge me,
You do not know anything about me,

You do not know what I have been through,
You dont really want to know the truth, do you?

There was once a happy guy,
a nice guy, hence not a crappy guy,
who fell in love with a beautiful girl,
a dutyful girl, her hair in curl,
Her smile made him smile,
Her unique style, eyes deeper then nile,
They kissed eachother, missed eachother, 
Day and night, gay and bright,
In eachothers sight, their lives changed,
Feelings of love, blessings from above, 
They planned their future life,
As husband and wife,
The summer of joy,
They became the reason of life,
In season of joy,
A younger girl, an older boy,
Deeper then deepest oceans, taller then the tallest mountain,
The immortal love reigns,  
Spreading joy and no pain, 
They went to mountains tall and wide, 
No one to see them, no rules to abide, 
With god of love on their side,
They accepted their fate,  
Became eachothers mate,
They married eachother,
Through thick and thin, carried eachother,
He built a small house for her, a spouse to her
He wrote about her, thought about her, 
She inspired him, desired him, 
Admired him, they grew together,
But then changed the weather,
The winds of winter came,
Extinguished their flame,
Killed passion, 
Killed compassion,
Killed their desire,
To hold on, killed the fire,

She betrayed him with no mercy,
Wounded him for world to see,

His trust broke, a hurt bloke,
From the dream he woke,

Into reality and it’s brutality,
The fairy tale came to its finality,

His dreams shattered, his heart battered,
He was fool to think he mattered,

A cursed soul wandering about,
Drenched in so much pain and doubt,

He slept around and started drinking,
Did terrible things without thinking,

His life began spiraling down,
In hurtsville and disaster town,

Then something happened, he took control,
Right back from the edge,  he began to roll,

The experience forever changed him,
Absent love, a reaping grim,

A spec of former self, a shade,
Refusing to give up and fade.

So now you know my story,
Reality of life with no glory.

Ascension

When the future is fogged in mist and the bridge is burnt, who do you turn to for help, who will be your savior now? You wander about mindlessly and lost, abandoned by everyone. You doubt your decisions, your choices, everything that brought you here, here at the end of world. You see the your life flash in front of your eyes, the memories, ah the memories. You pretend to have no regret but its a fasad, a defence mecchanism, a lie. You regret alot. When you look into your past you dont see yourself, atleast not the person you are now, you see some other guy, someone who is in peace and happy, whose mind isnt always racing, asking, pondering, questioning, going against the norms, no, no, you see a guy who followed his customs, his traditions, his social obligations, his religion, an activist, who used to make speeches in halls about patriotism and in mosque about purpose of life. It all seems a distant memory now. You are not what you used to be, you changed. In the beginning it was just for fun, you would start rhyming words and making poems from them, silly lines which made little to no sense, but you liked playing with words. The words made you feel special. But the words started coming to you more often, the rhymes started to make sense, you started seeing the pattern in nature, you started thinking, you started pondering, you began your search for Truth. Poems started having deeper meaning, you started questioning everything, your society, your culture, your religion. Your mind began the singing, simpler things got complicated, your goals in life got mixed up, you got messed up. Life became one big poem, you became an observer, you started playing this game, you started playing with people. You liked it, it made you feel powerful, made you different, unique in some way and you liked the feeling. You kept diving deeper and deeper in this ocean of emotions and you liked it. You wrote about it, some for other people but mostly for yourself. You started worrying about your legacy, your place in the grand scheme of things, your value to the universe. You wanted to leave something behind for people when you are gone. You started thinking of death alot. It excited you. But you couldnt just trust nature for your death, it had to be you. It would be more poetic, you thought. You finished your novels, and you connected your short stories. Connecting them became an obsession. It all had to be connected you told yourself. It all came from your mind and your mind was the connection between them. And now the canvas is complete. your work here is done. It is time, you told yourself. It is time to ascend out of this physical body with all the regrets, the bad choices, and decisions and the good memories. You put the pill in your mouth and swallowed it with a sip of water and your first chapter came to an end……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

One Love

You understand the point,
As you light up the joint,
As the smoke enters your mind,
You look behind,
As your life flashes by,
You begin to fly, ever so high,
You start your journey, trippy,
You learn to love like a hippy,
Your laughs become loud,
As you are surrounded by a cloud,
You ask the questions that matter,
You see the multiverses and anti-matter,
You mind opens up and grows,
In your veins the blood flows,
Formed of atoms and molecules,
Created billions of years ago as fuels,
In heart of stars exploding,
Escaping the black holes imploding,
Your connection with the universe is old,
A peaceful calm takes a hold,
As you become so bold,
Questioning the facts you were told,
By the ancesters and their beliefs of old,
You go back to the origin,
Of life and of religion,
Like passenger on a time pigeon,
You become universal, forget your region,
You escape these rules, this prison,
You see the big picture, the grand vision,
The secrets of life are revealed to you
The secret of cosmos are unveiled to you,
You become one with the rest of universe,
You see atoms united and elements diverse,
You dive deeper and long to meet Him,
To talk, to question, to please, to greet Him,
The grand Architect, the Designer, the Creator,
Some know Him as Merciful, some as a hater,
The patient observer, the misunderstood,
The ultimte Judge of bad and good,
The Revealer of signs, the Beneficent,
The Evolver, the Magnificent,
You find your glory, your grace,
As you look upon His face,
Your heart begins to race,
Your thoughts pace,
Your mind sings the song,
Of ice and fire, you feel ever so strong,
You lose the desire, to return,
To the mortal world, you learn,
The truth about everything,
From the multiverses to stringthing,
It all makes sense to you,
You dont want to return but you do,
As your high wears off,
Your eyes weep tears of,
Joy and happiness and illumination,
Peace for all, no discrimination,
Your mind sparks in light, your face turns so bright,
‘One love, one heart, lets get toegther and feel alright’

Why?

Why why why why why why?
Why do we choose to do wrong? Why?
Why does wrong feel so right? Why?
What makes wrong, wrong?
Why do we stay where we dont belong? Why?
Why do we sin? Why?
Why do we never win? Why?
Why do we make mistakes? Why?
Why cant we do what it takes? Why?
Where is the limit? Where?
Why cant we end it? Why?
Why do ourselves harm? Why?
Why do we have a deadly charm? Why?
What do we gain? What?
Why suffer in pain? Why?
Why go down a destructive path? Why?
Why enter in lava to take a bath? Why?
Why smoke to get high? Why?
Why when we cant fly? Why?
Why not stop and try? Why?
Why choose to die? Why?
Why not see wrong and right? Why?
Why be darkness when day is bright? Why?
Why linger on earth when there is a sky? Why?
Why stand in silence when life passes by? Why?
Why give in to addictions? Why?
Why keep these self inflictions? Why?
Why get wet under the rain? Why?
Why repeat the same mistakes again? Why?
Why not learn a lesson? Why?
Why not make a confession? Why?
Why refuse the help and deny? Why?
Why think the end is nigh? Why?
Why do we have pleasure in pain? Why?
Why cross limits and not abstrain? Why?
Why have no desire for wealth? Why?
Why make efforts to destroy our health? Why?
Why have a death wish? Why?
Why live in a skirmish? Why?
Why are you alive? Why?
Why should you survive? Why?
When will it end and why? Why?
When will I just shut up and die? Die!