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Maybe I Do, Maybe I Don’t

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

Here is the history of life, the mystery of delight,
Born and raised in a middle class family, born to fight,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

The social ladder is hard to climb up, it is no doubt a struggle,
In a world of opportunities for some, contest of wizard and muggle,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

From the humble beginnings, to highest of the high,
The customs, cultures, family values and norms you defy,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

It is a duel between living and existing or surviving,
The purpose is to achieve the living, before I’m dying,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

My heart is ever yearning,
This world is ever turning,
The desire inside ever burning,
Absent mind, heart is governing,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

The thoughts are wack,
Watching over my back,
Grey in world of white and black,
Decision between striving and slack,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

So what is this fictional story,
What is this imaginative glory,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

Ramblings of an addict, in a battle to lose his cause,
Rambling ever on and on, absent praise or applause,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,

Nowhere left to hide,
No rules to abide,
Absent belief, faith on the side,
Leaving it on God to guide,
To my salvation and decide,
To my fate and bride,
To my companion on this ride,
Coming back to humility from pride,
Saving me from the pit, large and wide,
To soar in the air, fly off and glide,

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t.

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Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend that the fairy tail never ends,
Let’s pretend that the heart mends,
Let’s pretend that the dream is still alive,
Let’s pretend that I am still that naive,
Let’s pretend she is still in my heart,
Let’s pretend we never fell apart,
Let’s pretend that I still believe in love,
Let’s pretend that there is still a God above,
Let’s pretend I still believe her lies,
Let’s pretend the soul never dies,
Let’s pretend I never picked up the drink,
Let’s pretend I never rolled back from the brink,
Let pretend there is a happily ever after,
Let’s pretend there is still joy and laughter,
Let’s pretend, I never picked up that pen,
Let’s pretend I am still hiding in my den,
Let’s pretend life has a meaning,
Let’s pretend it’s not demeaning,
Let’s pretend I never made a mistake,
Lets pretend, let’s just pretend for Gods sake.

The Work Never Stops 

The work never stops, 

Trying to help his paps, 

All the changes he adopts, 

The attitude drops, 

Influences of external forces, 

Immersing in all the discourses, 

Debating the meaning of life, 

Going through the struggle and strife, 

Hating the state of world, this place, 

Praying to God, for His mercy and grace, 

Riding and roving, on this journey, 

Armored to fight in this tourney, 

Bringing a pen to this sword fight, 

Fighting darkness, with words of light, 

Rise and rebel and deny and defy, 

Spread your wings, fight, not fly, 

A fool, a dreamer, an idea, a thought, 

Just words on a paper, sought and bought, 

An enigma, eminence, freedom, escape, 

Love and life, smoke and vape, 

The work never stops, 

Still just trying to help his paps. 

Awoken

I am going through changes,
My emotions all over the place,
Awoken, something deep inside of me,
Awoken, from the deep sleep,
Awoken, now I am free,
Awoken, in spite of thee,
Awoken, desire to be greater,
Awoken, fire of passion,
Awoken, pyre of devotion,
Emotion, sprung erosion,
Reality, or distortion,
Truth, stranger than fiction,
Fight, obsessive addiction,
Light, at the end of tunnel,
Light, this sight,
Light, so bright,
Light, in the night,
Light, so blinding,
Right, I never am,
Right, at the front of cam,
Right, just a scam,
Beauty, in her eyes,
Beauty, yet her lies,
Beauty, those good byes,
Beauty, all the tries,
Compassion, this humanity,
Compassion, vain and vanity,
Compassion, salty, salinity,
Passion, desire to be,
Passion, desire to see,
Passion, desire of thee,
Passion, desire to flee,
Passion, higher than me,
Peace, my purpose in life,
Peace, without children or wife,
Peace, drop the knife,
Peace, stop the fight,
Peace, no more war,
Peace, in what you are,
Peace, it’s never too far,
Peace, heaven on earth,
Peace, desire since birth,
Peace, just peace,
Just peace!

Sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Would be or what should be,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the choices,
Secret vices and the voices,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I lose myself in the music,
electronic and acoustic,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I stare at the canopy of the sky,
Beautiful sober, marvelous high,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Deep as Nile or like a moon rise,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Her imminent betrayal, her lustful lies,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about ending it,
Faking it and pretending it,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I want to grow wings and fly,
Courage to defy gravity and deny,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the infinite earth,
Rewind life back from death to birth,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Times are difficult and hard,
Lethally wounded and scared,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Close your eyes and feel,
Someone to tend you and heal,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone might try to become the one,
Bringing some joy in life and some fun,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
You let your guard down,
Joker dressed up as a clown,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Twisted emotions just take a hold,
Going off script, not doing what you’re told,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is a fairy tale,
Sitting with a pint of ale,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is not a fairy tale,
You may fall and often fail,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone could use a hand,
Needing your help to stand,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Do good without a reward,
Pen is mightier then the sword,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Stop and sit and ponder and think,
Close eyes and open them to blink,
As I lay some truth down in these verses,
Infinite creations in infinite multiverses,
Yet here you are a conscious being,
All observing, all seeing,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Who I would be? who I should be?

Hell No

I am broke and I am stoned, I am flying,
You truly live when you know you’re dying,

When you know your friends are just lying,
You keep trying,  even when they’re not replying,

So fuck it,  don’t give up,  keep trying,
Invite them to a party,  drinks are on you,  you’re buying,

Then play ignorant,  don’t admit to it,  keep denying,
On the inside you’d be laughing,  but also crying,

A clever retort, mission failed,  time to abort,
Time to sort, seclusion, life in Fort,

Why accept reality? Just distort it,  into fiction,
Expect same brutality, this hurt is from self infliction, 

So click son,  don’t be shy,  she’s old enough,
It’s time to lick, son, don’t worry take a puff,

But life is rough,  this is a lesson,
Times are tough, you’re Fredie and I’m Jason,

So don’t stress,  you’re not in detention,
Life’s a mess,  but pay no attention,

It’s only natural,  some are sweet,  some are mean,
Wish life was Supernatural, you’re Sam,  I’d be Dean,

I don’t want to be mean,  this is who I am,
Dirty or clean, fight with verses, hit a body slam,

Who needs to make sense,  when you can spit the rhymes,
You better take offense, it’s part of the gig, shall I list the crimes?

That time when I fell in love,
With a green eyed dove, head over heels,

You telling me that was mistake, son?
Debate, son, thus isn’t your fate, son,
Are you ready to date, son?
But forget her,  don’t hate, son,
We’re getting late, son,
Time to find your mate, son,
A mysterious pie, wait till you try,
Don’t deny, it’ll make you fly, son,
Then get high, son, the norms of society,
Be a rebel and defy, son,

Let your mind sing,
With flirt and fling,
On a giant swing,
From winter to spring,

Spin around and get dizzy, this life is not easy,
Don’t waste your time, so get busy,

Write words and rhyme them,
Rap them and then time them,
Spitting them isn’t a crime then,
Step into the lion’s den,

OK so let’s go,
Love hoe and bro,
Let the music flow,
To and fro,
You just never know,
Who’s listening, yo,
You’re going too fast,
OK, I’ll spit this rhyme slow,
Is it finaly time to grow?
Hell No!

A Curse

A mysterious curse,  a series of unfortunate events, 
My complicated life,  divided in different segments,

Is it a curse or a blessing from above that I see,
The world for it is, not what it pretends to be,

Riding on bus,  journeying through time,
If this is my punishment, what is my crime?

I often think about them,  but not everyone believes,
I wonder if there is a common tree, if we are branches or leaves,

I wonder if some will flower in grace, 
I wonder if others will fall without a trace,

I wonder if we will travel to them,
I wonder if we are connected by a stem,

I wonder if we figure it out,
I wonder what’s it all about,

I still think sometimes about her,
But my fading memory of her is just a blur,

Then I think about the miltiverses beyond any count,
The possibilities of realities of infinite amount,

Who am I Oh Who am I?
A voice? A plea? A cry?

A poet, an observer, a messenger,
Journeying through time and space,  a passenger,

A glorious curse, destiny and fate,
Ready for a new adventure, it’s never too late.

A Monster

The nights are haunted by the nightmares of lost love,
Her face still fresh in your mind when you close your eyes,
Turned to curse what once was blessing from ‘above’,
The memories forever yours and pain never dies,

 

Through thick and thin, sickness and health,
Foolish expectations of a lover’s heart,
In reality of world, honesty and goodness aren’t wealth,
In reality of world, money drives people apart,

 

But everyone can play the blame game,
The fault wasn’t always in our stars,
Once you used to smile and chant her name,
Now you lay down counting the stars,

 

Taking a puff of herb, forgetting your worries,
Trying in find yourself in blown smoke,
Rembering the time of appologies and sorries,
Trying to understand the emotions that awoke,

 

This demon that woke inside of me,
This ghost of painful past, of you,
This monster who took hold of me,
What would become of me and you?

 

Am I the only one affected,
Or do you suffer the same?
Do you also feel neglected?
I am tired of playing this game,

 

I wish that I would forget,
All the good and bad,
I wish that I felt no regret,
The happy ending we could have had,

 

Your experiences made who you are,
But they say everything happens for a reason,
So sing the song and play the guitar,
Lose yourself in the music of changing season,

 

But time to get it together,
Forget past and look to the future,
Life cannot be lived by if and whether,
Are you ready for a new adventure?

One Love

You understand the point,
As you light up the joint,
As the smoke enters your mind,
You look behind,
As your life flashes by,
You begin to fly, ever so high,
You start your journey, trippy,
You learn to love like a hippy,
Your laughs become loud,
As you are surrounded by a cloud,
You ask the questions that matter,
You see the multiverses and anti-matter,
You mind opens up and grows,
In your veins the blood flows,
Formed of atoms and molecules,
Created billions of years ago as fuels,
In heart of stars exploding,
Escaping the black holes imploding,
Your connection with the universe is old,
A peaceful calm takes a hold,
As you become so bold,
Questioning the facts you were told,
By the ancesters and their beliefs of old,
You go back to the origin,
Of life and of religion,
Like passenger on a time pigeon,
You become universal, forget your region,
You escape these rules, this prison,
You see the big picture, the grand vision,
The secrets of life are revealed to you
The secret of cosmos are unveiled to you,
You become one with the rest of universe,
You see atoms united and elements diverse,
You dive deeper and long to meet Him,
To talk, to question, to please, to greet Him,
The grand Architect, the Designer, the Creator,
Some know Him as Merciful, some as a hater,
The patient observer, the misunderstood,
The ultimte Judge of bad and good,
The Revealer of signs, the Beneficent,
The Evolver, the Magnificent,
You find your glory, your grace,
As you look upon His face,
Your heart begins to race,
Your thoughts pace,
Your mind sings the song,
Of ice and fire, you feel ever so strong,
You lose the desire, to return,
To the mortal world, you learn,
The truth about everything,
From the multiverses to stringthing,
It all makes sense to you,
You dont want to return but you do,
As your high wears off,
Your eyes weep tears of,
Joy and happiness and illumination,
Peace for all, no discrimination,
Your mind sparks in light, your face turns so bright,
‘One love, one heart, lets get toegther and feel alright’