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A Seeker

If you’re reading this it means I might be dead, 

Was I out or laying in my bed, 

Life flashing in front of my eyes, 

All the things unsaid, 

Did I die of natural causes, 

Or killed by a fed, 

Soul is leaving my body, 

A glooming dread, 

Taking my time, 

To think about my crime, 

The past caught up to me, 

So I am looking ahead, 

All the mysteries revealed, 

I surrender and yield, 

Should I be feeling regret instead, 

But there is no remorse in me, 

Broken shackles, now I am free, 

To be, to see, to flee, 

To blink, to think, of thee, 

Marvel at her sight, 

So ravishing, her majesty, 

These songs I sing, 

Often of love, 

Sometimes of theory of string, 

This universe in the multiverse, 

Mind singing, captured in verse, 

The dimensions are thirteen, 

The ever learning observer so keen, 

The possibilities are infinite, 

Expanding every second in every minute, 

Surrounded by darkness of space, 

Don’t be shy, do not hide your face, 

But there is also light, 

Nebulas and Quasars and Polaris in sight, 

Spinning at a magical pace,

The mega clusters of galaxies in a race, 

Sucked into black holes, and spit out of white holes, 

Meeting some aliens and asked them their life goals,

No languages needed,

Threats from extra terrestrial unheeded,

Communicating through our minds,

When one seeks something, he always finds,

So I am an observer, a seeker,

A wanderer, a secret keeper,

A dying man, on pale blue dot,

Or a memory, in someone’s thought. 

Casual Raiders, A Home for All

Hail friend! Casual Raiders is in the house,
Ready your keyboard, recharge your mouse,

We like to raid and we like to have fun,
We help kinnies, we take along everyone one,

We’re the best on Brandywine, when it comes to raids,
Our strength is our team, our glory never fades,

Doesn’t matter if you’re a casual or hardcore,
We’re amazing and larger than ever before,

We have good people, a kin one of a kind,
Built on respect and trust, leaving no one behind,

Two years ago, there was only just me,
Now we have 41 pages of men and women free,

Casual Raiders, a place to be,
Casual Raiders, from Gondor to Bree,

One kin to rule them all,
One kin of unite us,
One kin to bring us all,
And in the light, remind us,

A game is to have fun with friends and family,
We have Ali, CJ, Wook, Tankyn and Emily,

We have pravion, Noranti , Rash and Nick,
And countless others in our clique,

Casual Raiders, a destiny, a home for all,
Casual Raiders, here to stay, and never fall.

I see you now

I see now, I see you, I see now,
When you’re gone, I dream now,

When I was happy and the world was bright,
When you were in my arms, hearts delight,

Oh my lord what happened, you left,
My heart was stolen, it was a theft,

Who can save me now, I wonder,
Will I go on and repeat this blunder,

It is hard to smile now, it is so hard,
Give me some stregth, be my guard,

Oh lord of mine, where are you,
I look up in pain, at that sky blue,

When I am sad, alone and I cry,
A part of me just wants to die,

But when I think of you, and the world about,
I forget my meaningless life, and my doubt,

You are great, greatest of all,
You will save me , when I fall,

Oh my lord, oh my lord, oh my lord,
I will spread your word, absent sword,

I sing songs of happiness, songs of joy,
When you wipe my tears, wipe them dry,

I’ve seen you now, I’ve seen, I’ve seen you now,
When you were gone, I still continue to dream now.

Cycle of death and birth

Oh you of weak mind,
Forever in pursuit,
Unable to find,

Running after lust,
Nothing to hold on,
Lost in a pile of dust,

No reason or rhyme,
Mindless living existence,
Guilty, absent crime,

Nightmare or a tragic tale,
No Princess or evil Queen,
Drinking tears from holy grail,

Think and think I must,
This mindful mind singing,
Mysterious children of stardust,

They explore, invent and make,
Innovate and improve upon,
Some are giving, while others take,

Their humanity and compassion,
Their small acts of kindness,
Falling in love and passion,

This beautiful life and earth,
Our small pale blue dot,
This cycle of death and birth,

Oh you curious of mind,
Never stop the pursuit,
What you seek, may you find.

Beleriand at War

When Beleriand was in war,
A merry passenger, a messenger, a mariner, went to seek the help of the Valar,

 

The Valar answered the cries of the children of Illuvatar,
Gathering their armies of elves high, they rode to war,

 

The war of wrath it was called and Beleriand was destroyed,
And Melkor was trapped in the void,

 

Of space and time,
For his horrendous crime,

 

Beleriand sank beneath the sea,
And the world was changed and Eru heard the plea,

 

Immortality or a mortal life,
Some chocies were given to children of Earendil and Elwing for their strife,

 

Elros choose the gift of Ilúvatar and went to live in Numenor which later fell,
But that’s another story to tell,
While Elrond tied his fate to middle-earth and went to establish Rivendell.

Sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Would be or what should be,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the choices,
Secret vices and the voices,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I lose myself in the music,
electronic and acoustic,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I stare at the canopy of the sky,
Beautiful sober, marvelous high,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Deep as Nile or like a moon rise,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Her imminent betrayal, her lustful lies,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about ending it,
Faking it and pretending it,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I want to grow wings and fly,
Courage to defy gravity and deny,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the infinite earth,
Rewind life back from death to birth,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Times are difficult and hard,
Lethally wounded and scared,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Close your eyes and feel,
Someone to tend you and heal,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone might try to become the one,
Bringing some joy in life and some fun,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
You let your guard down,
Joker dressed up as a clown,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Twisted emotions just take a hold,
Going off script, not doing what you’re told,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is a fairy tale,
Sitting with a pint of ale,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is not a fairy tale,
You may fall and often fail,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone could use a hand,
Needing your help to stand,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Do good without a reward,
Pen is mightier then the sword,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Stop and sit and ponder and think,
Close eyes and open them to blink,
As I lay some truth down in these verses,
Infinite creations in infinite multiverses,
Yet here you are a conscious being,
All observing, all seeing,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Who I would be? who I should be?

Hell No

I am broke and I am stoned, I am flying,
You truly live when you know you’re dying,

When you know your friends are just lying,
You keep trying,  even when they’re not replying,

So fuck it,  don’t give up,  keep trying,
Invite them to a party,  drinks are on you,  you’re buying,

Then play ignorant,  don’t admit to it,  keep denying,
On the inside you’d be laughing,  but also crying,

A clever retort, mission failed,  time to abort,
Time to sort, seclusion, life in Fort,

Why accept reality? Just distort it,  into fiction,
Expect same brutality, this hurt is from self infliction, 

So click son,  don’t be shy,  she’s old enough,
It’s time to lick, son, don’t worry take a puff,

But life is rough,  this is a lesson,
Times are tough, you’re Fredie and I’m Jason,

So don’t stress,  you’re not in detention,
Life’s a mess,  but pay no attention,

It’s only natural,  some are sweet,  some are mean,
Wish life was Supernatural, you’re Sam,  I’d be Dean,

I don’t want to be mean,  this is who I am,
Dirty or clean, fight with verses, hit a body slam,

Who needs to make sense,  when you can spit the rhymes,
You better take offense, it’s part of the gig, shall I list the crimes?

That time when I fell in love,
With a green eyed dove, head over heels,

You telling me that was mistake, son?
Debate, son, thus isn’t your fate, son,
Are you ready to date, son?
But forget her,  don’t hate, son,
We’re getting late, son,
Time to find your mate, son,
A mysterious pie, wait till you try,
Don’t deny, it’ll make you fly, son,
Then get high, son, the norms of society,
Be a rebel and defy, son,

Let your mind sing,
With flirt and fling,
On a giant swing,
From winter to spring,

Spin around and get dizzy, this life is not easy,
Don’t waste your time, so get busy,

Write words and rhyme them,
Rap them and then time them,
Spitting them isn’t a crime then,
Step into the lion’s den,

OK so let’s go,
Love hoe and bro,
Let the music flow,
To and fro,
You just never know,
Who’s listening, yo,
You’re going too fast,
OK, I’ll spit this rhyme slow,
Is it finaly time to grow?
Hell No!

A Monster

The nights are haunted by the nightmares of lost love,
Her face still fresh in your mind when you close your eyes,
Turned to curse what once was blessing from ‘above’,
The memories forever yours and pain never dies,

 

Through thick and thin, sickness and health,
Foolish expectations of a lover’s heart,
In reality of world, honesty and goodness aren’t wealth,
In reality of world, money drives people apart,

 

But everyone can play the blame game,
The fault wasn’t always in our stars,
Once you used to smile and chant her name,
Now you lay down counting the stars,

 

Taking a puff of herb, forgetting your worries,
Trying in find yourself in blown smoke,
Rembering the time of appologies and sorries,
Trying to understand the emotions that awoke,

 

This demon that woke inside of me,
This ghost of painful past, of you,
This monster who took hold of me,
What would become of me and you?

 

Am I the only one affected,
Or do you suffer the same?
Do you also feel neglected?
I am tired of playing this game,

 

I wish that I would forget,
All the good and bad,
I wish that I felt no regret,
The happy ending we could have had,

 

Your experiences made who you are,
But they say everything happens for a reason,
So sing the song and play the guitar,
Lose yourself in the music of changing season,

 

But time to get it together,
Forget past and look to the future,
Life cannot be lived by if and whether,
Are you ready for a new adventure?

Estel

They called me Estel, when I was young,

It’s meaning is hope, in elvish tongue,

My mother and I were brought to Rivendel,

To hide from enemy, to live there and dwell,

I grew up learning the history and lore,

Of mighty elves, of Beleriand and more,

I fell in love with stories, I read The Lay of Leithian,

Stories of my elders, my kin, of Beren and Luthien,

I cried for children of Hurin,

Their trials and choices of Turin,

As I learned more about the Silmarils and powerful rings,

I often wondered about my place in grand scheme of things,

I learned about Elendil the tall,

And about Isildur, his rise and fall,

I learned about the corruption and weakness of men,

Because of men, the One Ring wasn’t destroyed then,

I was lost in my thoughts and mist, a vision of Tinuviel came,

I got up and ran after her, enchanted, calling her name,

Mesmerized, charmed, entranced, captivated by a spell,

She asked me why do I call her that, for she is Undomiel,

The evenstar of her people, Arwen, daughter of Elrond,

Our eyes met and we traveled through space, time and beyond,

Then reality dawned on me,

I was being too blind to see,

She was an Eldar, her stature was high,

I was a mortal man, doomed to die,

Hopeless, gaunt and grim, I left,

And the ring of Barahir I kept,

Fought alongside men of Rohan and Gondor,

And slew orcs, goblins, trolls, Corsairs and more,

I helped Gandlaf with capture of Gollum,

But Undomiel’s thoughts were never num,

Then fate brought me to Lorien,

After 30 long years I saw Arwen,

We met on Cerin Amroth,

We plighted our troth,

I held her hands, looked in her eyes and kissed her under a malorn tree,

But the world was changing, darkness rising, I departed to come to Bree,

In prancing pony, I found the four hobbits from shire,

I took them to weather top and told them not to light a fire,

But the fire was lit, the nazgul came,

I fought them with courage and a burning flame,

But the witch king struck Frodo with a morgul blade,

I tried to heal him with Athelas, but he began to fade,

The nazgul chased us as we fled towards Rivendell,

Then as a ray of hope he came, the mighty Glorfindell,

The conqueror of balrog, survivor of beleriand,
Returned to Middle earth from faery land,

Then men, elves and dwarfs came,
Mighty heroes with stature and fame,

Boromir, the captain of the white tower,
Gimli with his axe of power,

Legolas travelled many yards,
And Aragorn brought Narsil’s shards,

The four little hobbits were united,
With Bilbo, who was also invited,

Then the One Ring to rule them all was brought,
The free people quarelled and fought,

Then Gandalf recited, “Ash nazg durbatuluk”,
Frodo stood up and upon himself this task he took,

To go to Mordor and destroy the ring, though he knew not the way,
And with him went Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Sam, Merry, Pippin and Gandalf the grey,

Together they formed the fellowship of the ring,
Biblo hugged Frodo and gave him a Mithril coat and Sting,

And once more Aragorn looked back, at her, as he was about to depart,
His eyes met hers, his elvish queen, his life, his love, his everything, his sweet heart,

The journey was perilous and hard,
The fellowship always on their guard,

Over the mountains, the ring bearer tarried,
A heavy burden around his neck he carried,

They mountain pass ended in a deadly slope,
Gimli declared that Moria was their only hope,

But the dwarf doors were hidden and locked,
The fellowship was once again blocked,

But then the halfling solved the riddle,
They walked in with Frodo in the middle,

But the beast awoke with a wrath,
We retreated inside as Gandalf led the path,

The pillars were high and mighty in Khaza-dum,
But death got there first, Gimli cried at Balin’s tomb,

Then we heard the drums and many voices,
We were trapped and ran out of choices,

The goblins came in large numbers and a troll they brought,
We charged and slew many of them, even the halflings fought,  

But then came the shadow and fire,
A foe from beyond, with deadly ire,  

A demon of ancient world, Balrog of Morgoth came,
Fire and shadow woved in one, with a whip of flame,  

We ran across the bridge but Gandalf made his stand,
“You cannot pass”, with Glamdring and staff in hand,  

Balrog stepped forward and drew itself to great height,
Its wings spread from wall to wall, ready to fight,  

From out of the shadow a red sword leaped flaming, Glamdring glittered white,
There was a ringing clash and a stab of fire and Gandalf showed his true might,  

We ran to help the wizard, our guide, our friend, but he lifted his staff,
He smote the bridge before him, the bridge cracked, breaking it in half,  

“Fly you fools”, he fell into abyss with the demon and was gone,
But there was no time to mourn, I had to lead the fellowship on,  

We escaped darkness of Moria into the light of day,
Our fellowship broken, our hearts grim and fey.

The darkness of Moria behind, with golden woods ahead,
Raising our spirits, healing hurts, lifting our dread,

We were taken to see Lady Galadriel, the Noldorion,
The mighty high elf of the West, lady of Lothlorien,

The light of the two trees still shone in her eyes,
The memories of a land far West, where no one dies,

Her golden hair, her elegant style,
Her breathtaking beauty, her amazing smile,

She looked through our hearts, into our souls,
She knew about our secret mission and our hidden goals,

The Elves mourned Mithrandir and sang,
A lament through the woods, an echo rang,

She gave us magical cloaks, lembas bread and an elven rope,
And a mighty bow of Lorien, some daggers and rekindled our hope.

I came once again to that hill,
There upon the hill I stood still,

Upon the hill there is a tree, so tall and old,
It’s branches spread far and leaves were gold,

A memory appeared, the last time I was here,
I looked upon that face, so bright and fair,

My beloved was in my arms, Arwen Evenstar,
Full of joy, life and light, daughter of the Eldar,   

The world was young and mountains green,
Now I think about the miles that lay between,   

Will my fate be same as Beren one handed?
Will I succeed in the task I was handed?   

Would I conquer my demons, face my fears,   
The blood of Numenor in my veins, their unnumbered tears,   

From the ashes, would I rise? Am I Elessar?   
The path is hidden, but I still have to go far.  

Down the river Anduin, we steadily rode,
To Argonath, pillars of the Kings of old,   

Chased by Orcs of a different kind,
Marching in day, who didn’t go blind,   

The Ring did its magic, Boromir fell from grace,
Waking up from madness when he fell upon his face,   

He ran to help the two hobbits in need,
He blew the horn of Gondor, absent lust and greed,   

I flew towards him, faster then haste,
Anduril swung, laying enemies to waste,   

I laid his head in my lap, his horn split in two,
So passed a mighty son of Gondor, the ever true,

Merry and pippin were taken, Frodo and Sam were gone,
The fellowship broken, was there any point in going on?

Legolas, me and Gimli, we decided to carry on,
To rescue the hobbits from Isengard, from Saruman,

The fate of Frodo and Sam out of sight,
We followed the uruks day and night,

For days we ran in constant pursuit,
This tireless enemy. fearless and brute,

We came across the riders of Rohan, fair and tall in height,
Eomer of the mark, and his companions, who slew the uruks in night,

We asked them about the hobbits, the halflings,
They claimed to have seen none, we discussed some other things,

The hope once again tried to escape me, failure of Aragorn,
But my instinct told me to carry on the search, into fangorn,

Into the deep woods we went, legolas could hear the trees speak,
A white light blinding us, we found someone we did not seek,

Out of darkness, out of time, from timeless halls, from world end,
Came Gandalf, clad in white, leader of our company, our old friend,

Together we rode to Meduseld, to meet the king, grim and hiding inside,
To free him from the grip of saruman, to show him the light outside,

His son had died, but there was no time to weep,
The hammer stroke was ready to fall on helms deep,

We prepared for battle, young and able, old and sturdy grabbed a sword, to protect and guard,
There was Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli along with Theoden, fighting day and night, fighting hard,

Then we made our last onslaught, and Gandalf came down the hill riding,,
Bringing light and death to fleeing uruks, into the forest they went hiding,

But the forest had come alive,the hobbits did their magic,
The huorns woke and were furious, the uruks end was tragic,

The battle for helm’s deep was a victory, a win,
But the battle for middle earth was just about to begin,

We found a palantir of old, Pippin’s curiosity overcame,
He held it in hands and witnessed the white tree aflame,

Then he got caught by Sauron and he beheld the dark lord,
Who tortured him for information, hurt him with his sword,

But the Hobbit was pure of heart and bold,
By chance he saw the enemies plan unfold,

A fire burnt in my heart, I must go to minas tirith to defend the white city, I said,
But Gandalf had another plan, I must tread the pathless paths of the dead,

 

Mother

Oh sweet mother of mine, 
My eternal happy place, my sunshine, 

 

Have I told you enough how much you mean to me, 
When the world was laughing, you were never mean to me, 

 

I remember your hard work and sacrifice,
Your counseling, your best advice, 

 

I appreciated always your sincerity,
After talking to you, I saw everything with clarity, 

 

Ma’ serving you is my purpose of life, 
I don’t want any kids nor a wife, 

 

Ma’ you have suffered just because,
I had let you down again,  I was the cause, 

 

You screamed for me, at me, and stressed,
I cried for you, with you, and stressed, 

 

Through thick and thin our journey was long, 
You made me who I am, a man strong, 

 

I can never thank you enough, 
For being strict with me and tough, 

 

Your smile makes my world spin,
With you on my side, I’ll always win, 

 

I admit I was a very difficult child,
Naughty, restless, talkative and wild, 

 

But you always came to my aid,
Your importance for me will never fade, 

 

You taught me the right self esteem,
To be myself, to live and to dream, 

 

Ma’ I hope you live to see me succeed, 
To give you everything you want or need, 

 

Ma’ I am not perfect, I made many mistakes,
But don’t ever turn away from me, for heaven sakes, 

 

My world brightens when you smile,
I’ve always loved your simple graceful style, 

 

I hate the times I make you mad,
You’re heartbroken and sad, 

 

I can not wait to make things right again,
To not disappoint you or cause any pain, 

 

And afterwards you’d always forgive me,
A warm hug and kiss you’d always give me, 

 

I hope to be what you want me to be or at least be 
A good human being you raised me to be.  

 

P.S. I love you Mom!