Blog Archives

1- Thought Battle

Here we go. Another journey is about to begin. The same excitement, the same rush but still a familiarity of the paths that lay ahead. As I sit here in the waiting area, waiting for the gates to open, the memories of my last trip come rushing through my head. I have often described that experience as a big life changing event. There was a me before that trip and there was another me after it. Who knows what experiences await me this time around. Memories, memories are tricky, we remember what we want to, often we remember things different than the actuality of the events. I wonder if my memories are but a fairy tale, concocted by my mind, to ease the events that followed. Maybe that’s how I want things to be remembered, remember the good and forget the bad. But does it matter? Does it matter if my memories are true or false? Does it really matter?
I don’t think it matters. In this short life, why dwell on the bad. Why not remember things as you would have wanted things to go. Reality is overrated, so why not create your own fairy tale in your head. Why not live in fantasies of your own creation. Why not just remember the good parts.
I think it matter. The bad experiences are lessons taught by life. By forgetting them, you could forget the lesson and make same mistakes. Reality is not overrated, because in fantasies you’re always the winner, always the hero. The White Knight of your own stories, your own creation. Why forget what hurt you.
Contradictions, conflicting thoughts, the battle of ideas, the war between the two sides. Thus is my life and always has been, sometimes naive, living in fantasy, sometimes a realist, trying to make sense of it all. I guess I fall in the middle road because I understand the appeal of both sides. I can’t blame someone or myself for remember the fantastical version of my experiences, but I just can’t forget the reality of the events that shaped my life and the lessons learnt, my trials by fire, which moulded the person I am today.
So here’s to another adventure, another journey, a new experience, to new memories. Cheers!

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Maybe I Do, Maybe I Don’t

Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
Here is the history of life, the mystery of delight,
Born and raised in a middle class family, born to fight,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
The social ladder is hard to climb up, it is no doubt a struggle,
In a world of opportunities for some, contest of wizard and muggle,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
From the humble beginnings, to highest of the high,
The customs, cultures, family values and norms you defy,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
It is a duel between living and existing or surviving,
The purpose is to achieve the living, before I’m dying,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
My heart is ever yearning,
This world is ever turning,
The desire inside ever burning,
Absent mind, heart is governing,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
The thoughts are wack,
Watching over my back,
Grey in world of white and black,
Decision between striving and slack,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
So what is this fictional story,
What is this imaginative glory,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
Ramblings of an addict, in a battle to lose his cause,
Rambling ever on and on, absent praise or applause,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t,
Nowhere left to hide,
No rules to abide,
Absent belief, faith on the side,
Leaving it on God to guide,
To my salvation and decide,
To my fate and bride,
To my companion on this ride,
Coming back to humility from pride,
Saving me from the pit, large and wide,
To soar in the air, fly off and glide,
Maybe I do want to, but maybe I don’t,
I won’t say I do, I won’t say I won’t.

A Moment of Silence

A moment of silence, a moment to reflect,
All the time wasted, all the duties you neglect,

The routine, ever going on and on,
There is no coming back to the time gone,

So wake up and realize and do something about it,
Work, hustle, work and never ever doubt it,

Hard work pays off, it’s a fact, not a fiction,
So kick out of your deviant ways and addiction,

It’s time to rise up and fix the mistakes made,
Time is running by, dear, live life before you just fade,

A pursuit of happiness, a happily ever after,
Live life with love, joy, family, friends and laughter,

A new beginning, a new start,
Pack your bags and depart,

Stay true to your core values, your heart,
Just close your eyes and breath in and throw that dart,

Peace is inside you, God is inside you,
Be bold and confident, be sincere and true,

Greatness is in your grasp, just reach out,
Show the world what you’re made of, what you’re about,

A moment of silence, a moment to reflect,
All the time spent, and the people you affect.

Stairway to Heaven

I fell from the stairway to heaven,

Guilty concious, my sins were seven,


Inspired no more, desired even less,

Hired no more, afraid to confess,


The mask of fakeness, fake laughs, fake smiles,

Journeying through time and space, infinite miles,


The will to rise up, the will of iron broken,

Remembering her eyes, regretting the words spoken,


Remembering her eyes, eyes deeper than Nile,

Her beauty and innocence, her sweet smile,


Her fake smile, her broken promises, her lies,

Her manipulation, her empty words, her fake cries,


She cut my wings, I couldn’t fly,

I sat down to wake up, to get high,


I picked up the pen and started writing,

Put my thoughts in rhymes and started fighting,


Took back control of my life,

Broke free, ended my strife,


Found my way back to the stairway to heaven,

To get to my paradise, my safe Haven.

Hidden From Sight 

There is a crisis, a turmoil going on,

Occupying my mind from dusk till dawn,

So many paths lay ahead, 

Which path should I tread? 

The decisions that create divisions, 

So many views and visions, 

Are compromises worth making? 

Or just carry on living and faking, 

Conflicted in my mind, 

I can’t pretend to be blind, 

What’s my release, my escape? 

I can’t cry over my sour grape, 

The hopes and dreams of people around, 

I was dropped in middle of this battle ground, 

One wrong move and it’ll be chaos about, 

I bow down and plea and cry and shout, 

I am a fighter, a warrior, stout hearted, 

Thinking of the departing and the departed, 

Can I make this right?

The end is hidden from sight!

The Work Never Stops 

The work never stops, 

Trying to help his paps, 

All the changes he adopts, 

The attitude drops, 

Influences of external forces, 

Immersing in all the discourses, 

Debating the meaning of life, 

Going through the struggle and strife, 

Hating the state of world, this place, 

Praying to God, for His mercy and grace, 

Riding and roving, on this journey, 

Armored to fight in this tourney, 

Bringing a pen to this sword fight, 

Fighting darkness, with words of light, 

Rise and rebel and deny and defy, 

Spread your wings, fight, not fly, 

A fool, a dreamer, an idea, a thought, 

Just words on a paper, sought and bought, 

An enigma, eminence, freedom, escape, 

Love and life, smoke and vape, 

The work never stops, 

Still just trying to help his paps. 

Awoken

I am going through changes,
My emotions all over the place,
Awoken, something deep inside of me,
Awoken, from the deep sleep,
Awoken, now I am free,
Awoken, in spite of thee,
Awoken, desire to be greater,
Awoken, fire of passion,
Awoken, pyre of devotion,
Emotion, sprung erosion,
Reality, or distortion,
Truth, stranger than fiction,
Fight, obsessive addiction,
Light, at the end of tunnel,
Light, this sight,
Light, so bright,
Light, in the night,
Light, so blinding,
Right, I never am,
Right, at the front of cam,
Right, just a scam,
Beauty, in her eyes,
Beauty, yet her lies,
Beauty, those good byes,
Beauty, all the tries,
Compassion, this humanity,
Compassion, vain and vanity,
Compassion, salty, salinity,
Passion, desire to be,
Passion, desire to see,
Passion, desire of thee,
Passion, desire to flee,
Passion, higher than me,
Peace, my purpose in life,
Peace, without children or wife,
Peace, drop the knife,
Peace, stop the fight,
Peace, no more war,
Peace, in what you are,
Peace, it’s never too far,
Peace, heaven on earth,
Peace, desire since birth,
Peace, just peace,
Just peace!

I like people 

I like people but I like being alone more, 

When I can let my mind loose to explore, 

Learn the mysteries of the multiverse, 

All the science, the magic and the lore,

 

I like people but I like being on my own, 

Letting my mind wander in parts unknown, 

Pondering at the big questions of life, 

All this mind singing, from dusk till dawn,

 

I like people but I like flying solo, 

Journeying through space, in Apollo, 

Through wormhole into blackhole, to new worlds, 

Living life to the fullest, YOLO,

 

I like people but I like being by myself, 

I am just a mortal man, not an elf, 

Laying on the ground, looking up at Sky, 

Only then you can truly know yourself,

 

I like people but I like being single, 

No one to distract, no one to mingle, 

Life is short and time passes by so fast, 

So don’t wait and just start to sing this jingle. 

Sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Would be or what should be,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the choices,
Secret vices and the voices,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I lose myself in the music,
electronic and acoustic,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I stare at the canopy of the sky,
Beautiful sober, marvelous high,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Deep as Nile or like a moon rise,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about her green eyes,
Her imminent betrayal, her lustful lies,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about ending it,
Faking it and pretending it,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I want to grow wings and fly,
Courage to defy gravity and deny,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about the infinite earth,
Rewind life back from death to birth,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Times are difficult and hard,
Lethally wounded and scared,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Close your eyes and feel,
Someone to tend you and heal,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone might try to become the one,
Bringing some joy in life and some fun,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
You let your guard down,
Joker dressed up as a clown,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Twisted emotions just take a hold,
Going off script, not doing what you’re told,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is a fairy tale,
Sitting with a pint of ale,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Life is not a fairy tale,
You may fall and often fail,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Someone could use a hand,
Needing your help to stand,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Do good without a reward,
Pen is mightier then the sword,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
Stop and sit and ponder and think,
Close eyes and open them to blink,
As I lay some truth down in these verses,
Infinite creations in infinite multiverses,
Yet here you are a conscious being,
All observing, all seeing,

 

Sometimes, sometimes,
I think about what could be,
Who I would be? who I should be?

Hell No

I am broke and I am stoned, I am flying,
You truly live when you know you’re dying,

When you know your friends are just lying,
You keep trying,  even when they’re not replying,

So fuck it,  don’t give up,  keep trying,
Invite them to a party,  drinks are on you,  you’re buying,

Then play ignorant,  don’t admit to it,  keep denying,
On the inside you’d be laughing,  but also crying,

A clever retort, mission failed,  time to abort,
Time to sort, seclusion, life in Fort,

Why accept reality? Just distort it,  into fiction,
Expect same brutality, this hurt is from self infliction, 

So click son,  don’t be shy,  she’s old enough,
It’s time to lick, son, don’t worry take a puff,

But life is rough,  this is a lesson,
Times are tough, you’re Fredie and I’m Jason,

So don’t stress,  you’re not in detention,
Life’s a mess,  but pay no attention,

It’s only natural,  some are sweet,  some are mean,
Wish life was Supernatural, you’re Sam,  I’d be Dean,

I don’t want to be mean,  this is who I am,
Dirty or clean, fight with verses, hit a body slam,

Who needs to make sense,  when you can spit the rhymes,
You better take offense, it’s part of the gig, shall I list the crimes?

That time when I fell in love,
With a green eyed dove, head over heels,

You telling me that was mistake, son?
Debate, son, thus isn’t your fate, son,
Are you ready to date, son?
But forget her,  don’t hate, son,
We’re getting late, son,
Time to find your mate, son,
A mysterious pie, wait till you try,
Don’t deny, it’ll make you fly, son,
Then get high, son, the norms of society,
Be a rebel and defy, son,

Let your mind sing,
With flirt and fling,
On a giant swing,
From winter to spring,

Spin around and get dizzy, this life is not easy,
Don’t waste your time, so get busy,

Write words and rhyme them,
Rap them and then time them,
Spitting them isn’t a crime then,
Step into the lion’s den,

OK so let’s go,
Love hoe and bro,
Let the music flow,
To and fro,
You just never know,
Who’s listening, yo,
You’re going too fast,
OK, I’ll spit this rhyme slow,
Is it finaly time to grow?
Hell No!